“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is more painful than being stuck in a place you don’t belong.” ~Nr Narayana Murthy
Anyone who had stretch armstrong as a child remembers the moment when you and your friends test the limits of what Good Or Armstrong can handle. You each grab your arms and walk slowly behind you, waiting for the important moment when your strength is given to you, or Armstrong’s limbs are torn apart like a medieval torture device.
If you reach your strength limit, your older brother will be enthusiastically involved. As Armstrong’s new, limbed body crossed the point where there was no return, it brought more joy than seeing your excitement shed tears.
Why do we get stuck? We fail to define stackness about what it is.
Feeling stuck doesn’t mean that your feet are very glued to the floor.
Stuck is an active state that pulls you in the opposite direction like an Armstrong. One part says “Don’t give up,” while another part says “This isn’t working.” It’s no wonder it’s impossible to move forward. But what if you didn’t have to choose for a while?
What if I could be with this stackness without having to solve it right now?
“I’m stuck and considering all the shit that’s going on in my life, it makes perfect sense.”
I currently deal with existential anxiety about my career. Working for yourself has so many benefits, but you don’t have the freedom to where you are, what to do, and your time, but the downsides are turning that world upside down. No one leaned down or picked up on a tough day. Also, there is no sense that you are working towards a common goal. You own everything.
Warren Buffett’s right-hand man Charlie Munger said, “Life is all about making wise choices and dealing with trade-offs. In business or elsewhere, we haven’t seen any good examples of completely free yet. There’s always a catch and always costs.”
Being happy comes from avoiding trade-offs, not from being able to see clearly about what you are trying to accept.
This is where I’m stuck. I don’t know if those trade-offs are worth it anymore. After working for over 8 years, I’m listening to the siren calls of life that I’m hoping to be part of a cause that is bigger than myself.
But how do you distinguish between times when you need to sit with uncertainty and times when you need to take decisive action and stop overthinking?
A powerful question, huh?
There is a real balance between giving something space and taking action. It can be difficult to know what you need.
This is the clarity that perception can give us.
It’s an opportunity to realize the energy behind your desire to take action.
Do you feel that your actions come from the need to escape urgent, fear, or discomfort?
It’s a very good sign action isn’t the answer.
Or do you have a clear sense, even if it’s not entirely certain?
If the action feels like a relief rather than being performed, it may be a sign when moving.
When you think about taking action now, does it feel like it’s in alignment with ease? Or does it feel like panic or pressure?
It’s not clear. I don’t know what I want. I’m full of emotions.
My energy pulsates with urgency, fear, and the need to escape discomfort.
What does that tell me? I’m trying to make a decision from a place that’s not grounded.
That doesn’t mean I won’t take action. I’m not making decisions from a place of fear, as that means my system needs more space.
In a culture that sees action as the only solution, it is easy for movement to be wiped out by thinking about how we solve stackness, but this comes back to not being able to see what it is: you are being pulled in the opposite direction.
The faster you run towards the answer, the more answers you leave.
I have not come before you on this adventure. For us, one day of life at a time unfolds.
I know I will meet you.
Instead of taking action, do you feel like taking small steps towards grounding is supportive?
Maybe you’ll breathe deeply, put your hands on your mind, or even remind yourself, “You don’t need to understand all this now.”
Do you think it’s okay to admit that a bit? “I’m not looking at the pain, seeing the urgency, not ignoring you. I just want to move from a clear place, not fear.”
There’s no need to hurry. Allow yourself to calm down before you decide what to do next.
How do you feel about that?
Finding that starting point is where you feel grounded, rather than just responding.
About Chris Wilson
Chris is his dad, his coach and a man who rebuilt his life from scratch. No one talks about depression, unemployment and that silent burnout. Simplify Sundays is a community of 1,000 strong people and emerged from those dark days. Would you like to participate? Start with a free weekly check-in. It takes less than 3 minutes. It’s your chance to take a step back, take a deep breath and reconnect with what illuminates your soul.
