“How” The power to find love without formula

“We know all theories and master all the techniques, but when we touch the human soul, we become just a human soul.”Carl Jung

For years I have devoted myself to learning about love, relationships and personal growth. I read every book I could get, signed up for countless classes, and surrounded by assertions, tools and techniques that promised the keys I love. I was on the mission and was convinced that with enough knowledge I could finally succeed and unlock the door to a fulfilling relationship.

But no matter how much I learned, no matter how much I changed my way of thinking or how much I changed my repeated positive assertions, the work never fits in the way I had hoped for it. The advice seemed healthy and I felt the change I made was empowering. When it comes to mental issues, the answers were often elusive.

Despite my best efforts to design a perfect love life, I was ultimately trying to control what went beyond any framework, theory, and technique.

At the moment of its realization, I finally understood the true meaning behind Carl Jung’s words. He originally used this quote in his work as a psychologist, but he emphasized the importance of connecting with others on a profound and human level, but I now see how deeply it is related to romantic relationships. Before I could meet anyone else, I had to meet myself on a human level.

Life, like life, cannot be mastered through intelligence alone. It’s not about completing a set of rules or following a particular formula. It is to surrender to the mystery of being a human with all imperfections and effort.

When I first set out on a journey of “become one” or “attract one”, I was looking for a magical formula that would guarantee my ideal relationship. I believed that love was inevitable when you mastered the right mindset, practiced positive thinking, and applied modern dating strategies.

But somewhere along the way, I began to lose sight of the fact that love was not my destination. That’s experience. And because I am the most refined version of myself. When you allow yourself to become a real person, it appears.

Carelessly, I went wrong and changed from living in the moment to trying to solve the puzzle. Ironically, pursuing perfection made me more detached from my true self. I didn’t want a genuine connection with another soul. I unconsciously focused on proving to myself that I could solve this.

The more I studied, the more I realized that everything I learned about love came from the perspective of doing it. These guides, books, and seminars taught me how to act, think, or feel to attract or maintain love. But it does not resonate with the most important aspect of love: being.

Love cannot be controlled by a set of principles or techniques. You can’t design chemistry, force someone to become the right partner, or create lasting connections with Willpower alone. And that’s where I got to the wrong place.

No matter how much I pushed, tweaked, or optimized myself, something was always missing. And the missing piece wasn’t about improving or refinement myself, but about surrendering to the mystery of love.

All I needed was a genuine connection with my own mind – raw, messy, vulnerable, and human. It is to separate from our hearts and allow us to interact with our body and soul as beautiful and complex beings in nature.

I spent years absorbing the wisdom of the book, thinking that knowledge would be the key to unleashing love. But my mind was soaked up with all this information, but my body was still chasing behind me, stuck in an old pattern. I realized that I had no intellectual understanding of not being able to change my deeply ingrained emotional and physical responses.

So I leaned over them.

I began to acknowledge my impulses. He had to seek deep, visceral impulses, drama, romance, and even toxicity. I realized that I often fell into a pattern of love dependence. It was driven by the unconscious need to feel validated or to save someone else to feel.

What I noticed is that we are all in one way or another a spectrum of addiction shaped by our culture.

This time, instead of fighting or ignoring those patterns, I chose to work with them. I stopped trying to intelligently do everything and started listening deeply to my body. I allowed myself to sit with discomfort – feeling nervous, longing, pain, exploring the deeper emotions behind these patterns.

I felt like I was standing at the edge of the deepest, darkest cave in my soul. But I knew that in order to move forward, no matter how frightening it seemed, I had to face what was in it. I allowed myself to feel beyond fear, and overtaked the reflexive brace that normally stopped me previously. Slowly, I began to reconcile with them and admitted that these were part of me who needed compassion and relationship.

By embracing my body’s response and becoming a trend, I began to change the emotional energy that had previously captured me. The more I worked with my body sensations, the more I realized that the true healing of love is not just from the heart. It comes from integrating the mind, body and mind.

One huge piece I began to understand when I worked through these emotional patterns was that we are often prepared to search for high-intensity emotional experiences from the world around us, especially when it comes to love. The fast-paced nature of our modern world, especially today’s dating, wants to be instantly satisfied, both emotionally and physically. We live in a sensory-driven world and may not even recognize that we are conditioned on the extent to which we seek strength at every moment.

It seemed necessary to treat emotional and physical healing as a 12-step process, detoxifying the patterns that demand rapid revision and immediate verification, instead focusing on building something deeper and more sustainable.

The shift only occurred when they fully embraced those emotions, rather than avoiding them or rushing them. Yes, I knew the difference intellectually, but I had to work on pulling my nervous system differently. My body was responding to the signal of “connection” in these examples, but I needed a new discernment about what I was really feeling.

I began to realize that the addictive pull of romance, drama and excitement is not the same as a true connection. A true connection requires patience, vulnerability and trust, rather than constant external validation and the steady tracking of peak experiences.

When I began to unravel myself from the addictive cycle of modern romance, I began to realize something deeper: the magic of God’s timing. The pull of romantic desires, with its highs and lows, was no longer the driving force of my life. Instead, I began to realize that the beauty of love is not in the chase, but in the quiet, mystical unfolding of life.

God’s timing has a way of making us thankful for our journey, waiting, and uncertainty in love in ways that we cannot predict. We cannot force, hurry, or manipulate love.

But when we forgive ourselves, when we integrate our mind, body and mind, we create a space for the kind of connection that resonates with our soul.

There is sadness in this mystery, yes. Uncertainty, longing, waiting – these are all part of the human condition.

But it also has a wealth.

This space is a space where we don’t know that we teach us to love more harder, trust more deeply, and accept the present moment as it is.

God’s timing is not about waiting passively, but about trusting that love will find us when time is right. And when we do so, not because we have perfected ourselves or the situation, but because we have leaned on the process, feeling every moment deeply, and learn to trust that love will come when it is intended.

There is a huge difference between pursuing love through strategy and opening up love simply by being yourself. The former can leave you expelled from the real self and disconnected, while the latter allows for space for the real connection to naturally thrive.

When I let go of the idea that I had to do something to do the work of love, I began to experience relationships in a whole new way. I have learned to trust in the decline and flow of connections, allowing me to unfold the journey as intended.

I also began to see love in a more mindful way. Long isn’t limited to romantic love, but as something around me in multidimensionality. These gentle moments of pure kindness, warmth or generosity from anywhere reminded me that I am human, not human.

When I look back at the lessons I have learned, I “The human soul” means accepting the unknowns of life – especially in love. The amount of preparation or knowledge does not guarantee a perfect relationship.

Most importantly, we manifest as true, vulnerable selves. And when we do, love will find us. It’s not the result of an effort to attract it, but because it’s part of the natural flow of life.

Carl JungNow it sounds more true than ever. We can know all theories and learn all the techniques, but at the end of the day we must simply allow ourselves to be human. Being a “human soul” also means allowing others to be human souls. It means seeing clutter with grace, accepting flaws, not trying to shape them into something that is not.

It is about embracing the beautiful confusion of being human, both ourselves and others. A journey to love is not about achieving perfection or solving puzzles. It is about being there, trusting the process and accepting vulnerabilities. It is about letting go of the need to control God’s timing and trust.

All irony is a “how-to” guide, and strategies for love can take us to date. At some point, we need to move beyond the next instruction so that we can experience love in full.

We found that integration of mind, mind and body creates deeper connections. Stop compartmentalizing and let all parts of yourself exist.

It’s deep, thoughtfully and based on our physical experiences. When we appear in this kind of alignment, love is no longer something to chase or achieve, but it flows naturally from within.

I think it’s beautiful to think about love like this. It’s not the ideal version we think we should do or the checklist to be marked, but the ones that exist as raw of our true self, not the ideal version of some of the incredible extensions that it brings when it happens.