“Rigiri is a ceremony in which harmony is restored.” ~ Terry Tempest Williams
Life does not come with an instruction manual.
One day, it’s a relationship you thought would last. The other is a career path where you suddenly break up. The fear of health. Economical set-up. Aging parents. A horrible diagnosis. A global pandemic.
If you’re lucky, you haven’t experienced all of this. But be honest. We all live in Liminal.
The space between what happened and what happens is where most life actually happens. But we rarely talk about how we are there. We try to optimize or escape, fuss, paralyze, to avoid the discomfort of unknown things.
But here is an incredible truth. Creating peace with uncertainty is not about having more control. It’s about learning how to ride the waves, not being pulled by them.
And this is where rituals provide that quiet power.
Although they are not necessarily the capital r-type that requires incense or Gregorian chants, they may work too. I mean small, intentional actions that create a rhythm for your day.
Rituals as evacuation
When my father unexpectedly passed away, I learned firsthand how rituals can embrace you when there is nothing else to mean. In the chaos of sadness, it was a ritual of sorrow in our community, with awakenings, casserole meals, familiar hymns filling the church – kept us floating.
These were not grand solutions. They didn’t resolve the pain. But they shaped it. And the shape gave us something to hold something.
That is the gift of the ritual.
Even today, in the most ordinary part of my life, rituals continue to piece together me together as the world spins.
Sometimes they light candles for weekday dinners, and sometimes they go outside for a “noticeable walk.” These rituals may seem simple on the surface, but beneath them they work hard to sew meanings on my day and help me remember who I am.
Why rituals work when life falls apart
There is a reason why rituals are practiced in all known cultures. Some anthropologists even consider rituals to be the cornerstone of civilization. Rituals help to mark time, create order, and utilize meaning.
Unlike habits that aim for efficiency or routine, they often become unconscious, but rituals seek you to be there. They carry emotional weight. And while they don’t have to be elaborate for long, what they need is intention and respect.
Would you like to walk with your dog that morning? It can be a ritual if you treat it as a moment of breathing, noticeing the sky and locking it into the present. Light the candle before going to bed. Say blessings before meals. Write three lines of journal entries each night.
These are not “life hacks.” They remind you that even in times of mixed chaos, you can choose how you will show up. And the choice – if small – is powerful.
Rituals are not perfect, they are about being
One of the biggest misconceptions about rituals is that it must be strict. However, rituals can evolve. They are not intended to control life, but to help us to steadyly fulfill it. They might be fun too!
Rituals acquire meaning not only from repetition, but from what they are rooted in. That’s why I encourage people to connect their ritual practices to their personal “North Star.” When the outside world feels chaotic, this internal compass becomes essential. Even the smallest rituals can be a powerful act of consistency when tailored to your deepest values.
“We don’t need any more time. We need more intentions.” A few minutes of conscious actions can change your entire experience of the day, consistent with your values.
Especially when the day is difficult.
It is a quiet gift of ritual. It doesn’t remove uncertainty, but it reminds you of the person you intend to face it.
Neuroscience behind the ritual
It can also occur deeply physiologically in rituals. When you engage in intentional, value-driven actions, especially those with a rich structure and sense, you begin to rewire your brain.
Neuroscientists invoke this neuroplasticity. Repeating actions in an emotional sense strengthens neural pathways and helps build resilience. Rituals are more than just symbols. They are embodied tools for transformation.
Even the structure itself has its advantages. A few minutes of intensive and positive experiences every day can start to change the way we feel and function.
How to get started
If you feel that life is unpredictable now (and if not), try this.
Choose a part of your day that you can regain – an already existing moment. Maybe there’s a transition between work and dinner, or a final breath before sleep.
Add a layer of intent to it. breath. words. gesture. prayer. Pause.
Next, take it a step further. Connect that moment to your core values.
Ask yourself: what intentions do I want to bring to this part of my day? Maybe it’s compassion. Maybe it’s strength. Maybe it’s a simple commitment to being there.
Let the idea guide you how you will appear in your ritual. You can also write it down or make a sound. When your ritual reflects your core values, it becomes more than just a habit – it becomes a practice of alignment.
Need help identifying those values? listen:
How do you want to appear at this moment? What does my best self do here? What really matters to me is when all the noise drops?
Repeat your ritual every day. Not strict, but certainly.
Next, be aware of what changes.
You may be unknown yet, but you will not be ignored. You have created a sacred pause. And with that pause, you may find stability you didn’t know you had.
Ritual as Resistance – and Update
In a culture that values productivity over presence, taking time to ritualize your day can feel radical. But it is deeply resilient. Rituals remind us that we are not machines. We are human beings, we long for connection, consistency and care.
It is also important whether the candle is lit or breathe, whether the ritual is silent, sung, or shared in a solo. Not because it solves all the problems, but because it helps you face those problems with clarity and mind.
During uncertain times, the ritual will not give you a map.
But it reminds you where your compass is.
About Chris Farren Moss
Chris Farren Moss is a Stanford University-educated author and a coach who helps people create meaningful rituals for connection and purpose. Her book, “Your Guide to Ritual Design,” combines personal reflection with practical wisdom, depicting deep curiosity about Irish Catholic roots and how humans make meaning.
