“If today gets harder, remember that the smell of coffee, the way sunlight bounces out of the window, the sound of your favorite person’s laughter, the feeling when the song you love comes out, the colour of the sky at dusk, and that we are here to take care of each other.” ~NANEA HOFFMAN
Beach Breeze hit my skin. I felt the warmth from the sun and I could hear the toddler’s crashing waves and wild screaming laughter.
I looked down at my perfect 10 months with his adorable chubby cheeks and snored gently in my arms. My heart aches as if my heart was physically hurt from the amount of love I felt towards my children at the moment, and my eyes shed tears at the power of love. “This was a faint thing,” I thought.
Many people are familiar with trigger ideas. A trigger is a scenario or stimulus that usually stirs up negative emotions rooted in past wounds or trauma.
What is not very familiar to most people is the faint concept of people. Glimmer is the opposite of trigger. They are small moments that inspire calm and connect. This idea was originally introduced by Debdana, a prominent figure in the application of Polivagal theory, a scientific framework for understanding the nervous system.
We don’t tend to look for fainter light than triggers. The reason is evolutionary.
In the past, our cave brains have benefited more from reminiscing about poisonous fruits and places where hungry lions ate more lurking places than they enjoyed the beautiful sunsets. But most of us currently buy groceries from farmers markets and grocery stores. You don’t have to worry about lions, so you can practice brain changes.
Psychology has the idea that “what our water grows” in relation to what we participate in. The more you notice positive things, the more you practice, the more naturally your brain will create and strengthen these paths.
I am a mental health therapist and learned about Glimmer through continuing education courses. At the time I was struggling with my own anxiety. As I led my mental health challenges to my clients, I felt guilt as I learned how to manage myself.
But when I have time to take a perspective, I can show myself grace as a mother of a 3-year-old, two-year-old, and a 10-month-old child who happened to be a miraculous little surprise.
With three little humans, two dogs and fish, life is noisy, messy, chaotic and beautiful. Balancing work, housework and other people’s needs can be exhausting and overwhelming.
I don’t have time to do all the self-care activities you “expected” in one day – journals, exercises, meditation. But Glimmer? They fit into my life.
I love Harry Potter, fantasy and magic. I like to see Glimmer as more than a gentle connection and as a sparkling little moment in our normal life. Glimmers can be sensory. A beautiful sunset, a warm breeze, a flicker of candles, a lavender scent, or a first bite of a truly delicious coffee.
They can become internal – taking deep breaths, proud of a memory of comfort, moments of self-compassion, or achievement.
They can hear a long hug from your partner, a rambling story from your 3 year old, or hear your 2 year old sister say, “I love you, Evie.”
Glimmer’s idea reminds me of the Danish concept of Heidi. Hygge’s closest English translation is the concept of comfort and satisfaction. I love the idea of connecting these two ideas. This is because working in Hygge Practice will help you to make even more Glimmers.
Creating more hygiene in your life includes things that are comfortable for you. For me, it’s a big comfortable blanket, candlelight, a hot drink, and the softest fabric clothing. The value behind Hygge is its sense of presence, slowness and connection. Hygge is about setting up an environment to invite Glimmers.
Recently, I’ve been collecting faint fireflies-like light in my bottle. They’re not flashy, but they’re the little moments that reassure me that I’m fine. They bring me home inside their body. After all, there’s just magic. You need to look for it.
About Katie Landrum
Katie is a behavioral analyst and mental health counselor for the Central Florida area. Her ultimate passion is the mental health of a woman. She also specializes in treating anxiety, depression, perinatal issues, and ADHD. Katie’s counseling approach emphasizes a perspective focused on self-compassion, strengths and values in pathology to direct clients towards a rich and meaningful life. In her personal life, she is a proud mother of three small and wonderful children. Find out more about Katie.
