This year, the meaning of time has changed for me. I ended up with an empty nest. Instead of spending your evenings lugging your kids from place to place, you get some time for yourself.
Like a dry desert traveler visiting an oasis, I spent the first few months of my life precious. I didn’t create anything, I didn’t accomplish anything. I spent an evening in my car taking one yoga class or hiking one trail. I ate dinner alone and drove home.
At some point I must have finally quenched my thirst. Because I realized that I was starting to shift towards thinking about time as a commodity. Now that I have time, what big things were I planning to do with it?! For the first time in a while, I started daydreaming about the future. At first, daydreaming about these big plans and big ideas gave me energy and excitement. But like a person who has unexpectedly won a lot of money (although it is far from a jackpot), this idea of how to spend your new time is not a dream, but a thought about what you cannot have. Now it looks like this.
Last week I started reading The Book of Joy by the Dali Lama and found that my thoughts about time shifting had changed again. The Dali Lama speaks of time as a lost wisdom. We all know that modern society moves at an extraordinary speed. But he expands on this explanation by observing that while we seem to be pursuing our best lives, we always feel like we’re two steps behind. And he is worried about what this will mean for our well-being. He suggests something radical: use your precious time to build simple happiness instead of big dreams.
This seems like such a waste when you’re a busy mom and starved for time. We know how precious time is! How can you downplay it without doing anything big and important? Still, what could be more important than simple happiness?
In yoga philosophy, we talk about a process called viveka. Viveka speaks raw and honest about the simple goodness and rightness in your life right now. Not your goals, hopes, or dreams. But what simple parts of your life are good and right today?
Just like money, I don’t think time brings happiness. You need to take your time and find out. So here is my New Year’s perception of time.
Will this give me a routine? Does it bring me a sense of calm?
Does this bring me connection? Does this connect me to others? Does this connect me to a higher power?
Does this bring me mindfulness or creativity? Does this give me space to think?
happy new year.
Laura
