“Let me bore you a little. In our world of distractions, we’ll create some space for anything.” ~Unknown
My roommate sat in the kitchen, eating his late cooked dinner at home, commenting with a half-scattered smile. “Oh, you’re still alive.”
The words hang in the air, awkward and playful, but stingly sharp. They repeated something bigger. It’s a subtle judgment that creeps into our culture of merciless productivity.
Confusion bubbled up inside me, and I was immediately embarrassed. My cheeks turned red. I spent most of this sunny Saturday alone in my room. I read books, listened to music, wrote a bit, and honestly, stared out the window and couldn’t be restless.
“What do you do all day?” he asked, really curious.
Yes, it was definitely a shame that I felt. In a world where I admire busyness, I often feel like a criminal to spend the day at home or stroll around town without a real plan. It feels like choking to create an unspoken expectation of doing something, a day to be “counted.”
“Lie,” I replied, suppressing the urge to explain myself.
He seemed confused. “You can’t fill in with writing all day? Isn’t that boring?”
Here it was: the typical conflict between introversion and extroversion. He didn’t understand me, but to be fair, I think he wanted it. I agreed, I was seduced to downplay my day and say, “Yes, that’s boring sometimes.” But I stopped myself.
I recently realized something important. I need that tranquility.
“Do nothing” shameful
His confusion was not personal. It felt like the question society constantly asks people like me: What are you doing in your time? In a culture that praises a certain level of productivity, the idea of having unstructured time is almost heresy. If you’re not crafting items on your to-do list or working towards a measurable goal, what exactly are you contributing?
This shame runs deeper than personal anxiety. It is rooted in a culture that values productivity above all else. The Industrial Revolution reinforced the belief that time is money and a resource that is maximized. Today, even our leisure activities are being judged. Hobbies are monetized, holidays are opportunities for curated Instagram posts, and relaxation feels like something we have to acquire.
To me, this shame manifests itself in a subtle way. Reading or writing an afternoon without a clear goal will help you justify it. It’s practice for your own skills. When my friend asks how my weekend went, I am forced to list the “productive” things I did before admitting that I simply spent hours. It’s as if you need permission from yourself to slow down.
However, this obsession with busyness comes at a cost. It burns a sense of burnout, anxiety, and merciless inadequacy. It separates us from ourselves from our quiet, unstructured moments that bring clarity and peace. What happens when we are constantly striving to prove our worth through what we have achieved? We simply lose the ability to exist.
Quietness as a portal to creativity
What I have come to understand is that calm is not the enemy. It is the ham below the surface where creativity is brewed. When I sit still or make me feel bored, something unexpected arises. A fleeting thought, a fresh perspective, or a spark of ideas. Those relaxing moments I have learned are where magic happens.
Our culture teaches us to fear downtime and see it as wasted time. But it is often those “empty” moments that our most meaningful insights emerge. Folding the laundry or lying on a sofa that was not particularly doing anything, I had some of the best ideas.
As Julia Cameron writes in the artist’s way, creativity requires breadth. She prescribes social media, podcasts, book-free books, and book-free media stripping for a week to help artists reunite with their inner world. By removing distractions, she creates a room where we can really sit with our own emotions and thoughts.
In my own life, I realized this truth. Some of my favorite moments are grand or not planned. It’s a small, unexpected joy that occurs on a quiet day. When I’m cooking, I start humming and then I sing and maybe even dance. What feels like a common chore changes into a rich moment.
Why you need unstructured days?
Ironically, the days I spend without a clear plan are often the most productive in the way they nurture my inner world, not in the traditional sense. These are the times when my ideas are settled, unraveled, and expanded. They’re not a lazy day. They are spacious.
In fact, I began to see quiet times as quiet rebellions against the world that demand a constant output. When I allow myself to slow down and let go of the need to perform or produce, I oppose a culture that equates value with busyness.
But this is not easy. Society tells us to fear lazyness and run with endless distractions: wrapping Instagram, a new TV series, Side Hustle. Slowing down feels a different culture, and even luxurious. But I believe that is necessary.
Next time someone feels guilty about how you spend your time, or you slow down yourself, try restructuring the question. Restlessness doesn’t waste time, but what happens when a soil with creativity and self-discovery takes root?
New definition of productivity
So, was my roommate right? Are you bored? Certainly, sometimes. But its quietness doesn’t matter. It’s a gift. It is a pause between notes in the symphony, blank pages before the story. That’s not lazy. It’s a space where something can always be stirred up.
What happens if you see tranquility differently?
Maybe it’s time for your own experiment. Turn off the noise, stare at the window and see what’s moving quietly. You may be surprised by what appears.
what about you? What do you think about unstructured time? Is that something you avoid, or have you discovered its unexpected value? I want to hear what you think.
About Maria Klein
Maria Klein is a psychologist (M.Sc.) with deep curiosity about personal development, creativity and interpersonal relationships. On her blog, Mariakleine.com, she blends psychological insights with a holistic approach to self-development. Through practical advice on creativity and happiness, Maria encourages self-reflection and transformation, providing her readers with a space to grow with her. Her unique perspective bridges professional expertise and personal experience, making her blog an exciting journey of self-discovery.
