Feeling overwhelmed is a common trigger for anxiety attacks. When a project doesn’t go as planned or you miss a deadline, fear and anxiety increase in your mind and body. “I will be judged and found wanting,” the story goes. “They’ll never want to work with me again. Who the hell was I to take a job like that in the first place? I’m a fraud. I always fall at the last hurdle.” My heart races, my stomach pounds, my muscles stiffen. These sensations are unpleasant, so even though your conscious mind is being pulled in that direction, you unconsciously tense up even more to avoid feeling them. Well, a new idea was born. Why am I so anxious about being blocked?
When a lot of energy is spent in the company, there is less time to focus on day-to-day matters. Panic may begin. “I can’t get another job,” my heart laments. “The old cycle is back again. I’m cursed with depression.” Familiar pressure builds up in your nose and chest, making it difficult to access other emotions, and negative emotions begin to spiral. You won’t be able to cope, you won’t have any money or energy, and you won’t be able to get out of this hole. Doom-mongering thoughts fuel even more anxiety. It can go on forever. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
When a lot of energy is spent in the company, there is less time to focus on day-to-day matters.
But wait a minute. There is no need to follow these thoughts if they are just thoughts, mere projections contaminated by negative biases that arise especially during times of stress. I know that anxiety is an emotion and that emotion comes and goes. My thoughts and feelings were different yesterday, but who’s to say that my inner weather can’t change again? While there is certainly a pattern to the experience, this moment is simply a vibration of energy experienced within consciousness, created by a series of events in the mind, body, and external world around the so-called “I” that actually has no fixed location. The ideas in the mind are fluid, the sensations in the body are fluid, and the triggering event is already fading into memory, just a trace of the energy that causes the wind of mental and physical habits to blow. With this shift in perspective, thoughts and feelings suddenly ceased to be facts, and there was no longer even a solid, single, independent “I” to be upset or hurt by them. It’s just an experience and it’s happening continuously. It’s true that it’s a painful experience right now, but it’s still just energy moving. I am also constantly changing. Everything is in flow as always. This situation will not change, and neither will I.
“There is no final feeling.”
Rainer Maria Rilke once said, “Let everything happen to you, be it beauty or fear. Just keep going. There are no final feelings.” You can also make it even more personal. Just let everything happen (omit “to you”). See and feel each aspect of the show of mind, body and world unfolding on the stage of consciousness, and experience everything with interest and tenderness, knowing that the moment is already and inevitably about to turn into something else. When energy is allowed to unfold naturally, the next moment is less likely to be conditioned by misguided attempts to turn what is flowing into something solid, or to displace what is here so that it is no longer part of the moment. Consolidating the moment or separating it from the moment will never succeed, because the moment is always here and in transition. But without the stuck depression and hurting self, your mind, body, and life all flow like an undimmed river, allowing energy to flow in without defensive mental barriers that only serve to direct energy toward yourself.
By changing perspective and approach, by experiencing it without grasping or resisting, this moment has already become different from what it was.
You may still have negative thoughts and physical symptoms of fear. But they aren’t “mine” anymore. They are just the present remnants of past events and there is no need to turn them into unnecessary future suffering. By changing perspective and approach, by experiencing it without grasping or resisting, this moment has already become different from what it was.
Mountain meditation to help you get out of panic mode
Also known as “mountain meditation,” this mindfulness practice can help center your body, especially when you’re in the midst of life’s transitions. By imagining and embodying the stability of a mountain, we are training ourselves to be present not only to the world’s weather, but to our own inner weather: our thoughts and feelings.
1) Settle into a comfortable upright sitting position. Now and awake. Kind and firm. Connected to the ground below. The body rises into the air.
2) Imagine a beautiful mountain in your mind’s eye. It may be a mountain you’ve climbed, seen from a distance, or seen in a movie or photograph. Or maybe it’s something you just came up with in your head. In any case, imagine a mountain that embodies majesty and grandeur to you and is full of natural wonders.
3) Notice the wonderful qualities of mountains. See in your mind how its feet are firmly planted on the earth, and how it unapologetically rises into the air and takes its place completely in the landscape. Focus on its solidity, stillness, strength, and size. Day or night, storm or sun, winter or summer, mountains remain in space, stationary in their landscape, unwavering no matter the weather. You don’t need to do anything. That’s exactly what it is. It’s a beautiful mountain. It’s amazing just to exist. And whether it’s sunny, snowing, strong winds, hot, warm, cool, or cold, the mountains are just there, existing.
4) As you sit here, notice your own mountain nature. Just as mountains are connected to the earth, so are our feet. Your body will rise upwards like the body of a mountain. You can rest your head on your shoulders like the top of a mountain and be fully present here as the mountain sits in its space. Your body is as miraculous as a mountain, whose mere presence evokes wonder. Something that, like a mountain, embodies serenity, solidity, and beauty without doing anything else.
Of course, the weather can change. Events, thoughts, and sensations in our lives ebb and flow depending on our internal and external environments. No matter what the weather is, just for now, let’s practice becoming a “breathing mountain of a body.” Nature is wonderful whether the weather is nice or unpleasant. Leave it to the world’s climate. Rain, shine, snow, whatever happens, stay put as long as you can.
5) When your mind wanders, bring your attention back to the feeling that you are a mountain. Or, if you prefer, focus on the mountain in your mind for a while before returning to your physical sensations. Let go of the need to feel a certain way. If you don’t feel the mountains, that’s okay.
This practice encourages you to cultivate quality rather than fabricating emotions. It truly means becoming a “mountain of breathing bodies.”
This post is adapted from Into The Heart of Mindfulness by Ed Halliwell, published by Piatkus. Download a set of 14 guided audio meditation practices from Ed’s books here.
