“In the midst of movement and chaos, maintain stillness within yourself.” ~Deepak Chopra
There was a time in my life when chaos seemed to prevail. I tried so hard to hold things together, but it felt like the more I tried to control things, the worse the spiral got. Sure, I had goals and dreams, but the stress of not being “there” yet was always eating away at me.
I remember sitting on the edge of my bed one night and feeling completely exhausted. I had just had a tough conversation with a close friend. Each conversation was more profound than the last word. It wasn’t about the conversation itself. It was a mirror to what it represented: my own struggle with self-esteem.
I was so busy chasing success, comparing my progress to others, and pushing myself to meet society’s invisible standards that I lost sight of what was truly important.
That night was my breaking point. I realized that I was no longer living for myself, but for other people’s expectations. It felt like I was stuck in a loop, playing the same scenes over and over again, always waiting for the big “win” to prove itself. It was time for a shift, but the problem was I didn’t know where to start.
A lucky encounter that changed everything
Around this time, I happened to meet a hypnotherapist. I was skeptical, but something about their approach intrigued me so I decided to give it a try. That session brought me into an alpha state, a state of deep relaxation and mental clarity I had never experienced before.
Alpha State became my sanctuary. I felt connected to a deeper part of myself, a place where my inner chatter quieted and I could just be there. My hypnotherapist guided me to let go of control, trust the process, and embrace a calm state of being. In this space, I realized that I had spent a significant portion of my life living on autopilot, constantly reacting to external pressures.
This fortunate encounter was not a one-time experience, but a major turning point. I began incorporating practices that allowed me to access the alpha state on my own by using self-hypnosis techniques and guided visualization to reconnect with my core. The more I practiced, the more I noticed that the way I approached tasks changed. Instead of reacting out of stress, I started reacting out of clarity and calmness.
The power of stillness in chaos
That moment of stillness was the key to everything. I realized that I was running as fast as I could, not because I had to, but because I believed that slowing down meant failure. But stillness is not defeat. It’s clarity. When you take a step back, you realize how much of your stress is self-created, caused by unrealistic schedules, external comparisons, and the pressure to “have it all together.” I started to understand.
In that pause, I asked myself a question that changed everything. “What if my worth has nothing to do with my accomplishments?”
I found that when I took a break from the stress of constant effort, the pressure to try harder slowly eased. Connecting to your true self through stillness allows you to recalibrate and find peace without chasing validation. We can trust that who we are is enough without having to do more to prove it.
break the loop
My first practical step? Setting boundaries with myself. I started by realizing that I was acting out of fear or a desire for approval. Every time I felt the pain of not trying hard enough, I told myself to stop and breathe. This simple change helped me realize that my worth is inherent and cannot be earned or proven.
One of the biggest lessons I learned from this period in my life is that peace doesn’t come from achieving more. It comes from accepting where you are. I had to stop running on autopilot and start listening to myself. It meant accepting my flaws, imperfections, and everything in between.
Practical tips to overcome self-pressure
1. Create space for silence.
Set aside time each day to actively do nothing. Just be that. This is your chance to step away from the noise of social media, email, and to-do lists and reconnect with your true self.
Intentionally taking breaks can help you relieve the pressure of constant effort and remind yourself that you are more than just accomplishments.
2. Catch your inner critic.
Pay attention to your thoughts, especially when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Are you being overly critical of yourself? If so, try taking a step back and reframing that thought with compassion.
Remember, kindness towards yourself is not something you have to earn, but something you can always choose. And don’t forget. You are not your thoughts and you are not your feelings. They are simply experiences you pass through and do not reflect who you are.
3. From achievement to collaboration.
Instead of measuring success by what you do, focus on how aligned you feel with your values. When making decisions about your future, ask yourself, “Am I being true to myself?”
Doing so allows you to connect with your deeper purpose rather than chasing goals that may never truly fulfill you.
4. Celebrate progress, not perfection.
Give yourself small victories. Life is not about checking boxes. It’s about growth and evolution. Celebrate the fact that you are on a journey, learning and evolving with each step.
5. Stay where you are.
When you focus too much on future outcomes, you lose sight of the present moment and miss out on life. Stay grounded in the here and now and practice being present. Whether it’s mindfulness, meditation, or just deep breathing, presence is your most powerful tool.
journey back to yourself
Through this process, I discovered that true peace and fulfillment comes when I stop defining myself by external success. It’s about knowing that you are enough just the way you are. This doesn’t mean giving up on growth or ambition. It means allowing them to evolve naturally, rather than forcing them to fit into specific timelines and expectations.
The lesson here? Your worth is not tied to performance or productivity. You don’t need to “prove” anything to anyone. Sometimes the most important thing we can do is stop, reflect, and believe that we are exactly where we are meant to be.
About Crystal Rosa
Crystal Rosa is a cognitive coach, NLP practitioner, and founder of the Mind Mastery Institute. She helps individuals realign with their purpose and reach their full potential. To learn more about her work, visit krystalrosa.com.
