Years ago, I distinctly remember celebrating a strange victory. There was only one day I spent too much time thinking about a problem.
It was triggered by the end of another situation. I felt them moving away. Something changed, but I couldn’t find an answer. I was trapped in that painful ambiguity.
For that day, I did what I always do. I replayed the conversation in my head, looking for hidden meanings, imagining different scenarios, mentally rehearsing what I would say if I could turn back time. I checked my phone countless times and searched YouTube for answers. By the end of the day I was mentally exhausted, but as usual I was no closer to an answer.
What made this time feel like a victory was that the spiral only lasted one day. It may sound like a long time, but I knew it was progress for me. My usual pattern was to spend over a week on one problem (or one person).
I remember thinking, “If I can shorten it to one day, I’m sure I can shorten it even further.” That inner realization ultimately changed everything. And as it turns out, it did.
Potential rejection, ambiguous people, mistakes, and uncertainty were my biggest triggers. Every time they appeared, I found myself spiraling and completely lost in my own thoughts. That meant I often felt anxious, distressed, and desperate for answers.
Somehow, from the outside looking in, I seemed like a really confident friend and colleague who was working hard together.
To cope, I solved the problem in my head, talked about it endlessly with certain people, researched and verified it nonstop, and tried to analyze the situation from every possible perspective. No matter how much I thought about it, it almost never made me feel better.
After losing myself many times and doing quite a bit of soul searching, I eventually became aware of my mental habits and the impact they were having on me. I knew something needed to change. I was able to step back enough to realize that I was spending too much time in my head and it was becoming a problem. I labeled myself as a professional overthinker.
Recognizing your overthinking is a victory. It means you’ve gone from being on autopilot and stuck in your head to being aware of this all-consuming habit.
That being said, in my experience, so many people who openly call themselves professional overthinkers find themselves unable to stop the spiral.
The key to overcoming overthinking is recognizing the specific overthinking style you’re falling into.
Overthinking styles are different ways that overthinking manifests itself. They are not about the exact content of your thoughts, but about the patterns your mind follows when you get stuck.
Here are seven styles of overthinking. Which two resonate most with you?
anxiety
Your mind immediately jumps to all the things that could go wrong in the future. You not only imagine problems and worst-case scenarios, but also plan for them and try to prepare or prevent them. This is mostly related to what-if scenarios.
Helpful Questions: Is this a real problem that I have to deal with now, or a hypothetical worry that my mind is trying to prepare for?
rumination
This is when your mind keeps going back to the past over and over again. You try to remember the event that upset you or try to understand what happened. We keep talking, making decisions, making mistakes, trying to figure things out. In this case, you are analyzing what you should have said or done differently and why things turned out the way they did.
Useful questions: Am I learning something new or am I repeating the same information over and over again?
Threat monitoring
You know this is happening when you feel yourself on high alert. If you are someone who is looking to see if there is anything wrong with your internal or external world, this is you. Instead of relaxing into the situation, we are always on the lookout for danger, rejection, and signs of things going off track, even in the most ordinary moments of our lives.
Internally, we are aware of every sensation and mood and think something bad is happening, or externally, we are looking for signs and warning signs.
Helpful reminder: Just because my mind is looking for a threat doesn’t mean the threat exists.
Modification mode
This is disguised as a positive (and sometimes it can be). It’s when you feel like you have to solve your thoughts and feelings right away, as if they were a problem to be solved.
You don’t just sit around with anxiety. You start analyzing it from all angles, convincing yourself of various explanations, weighing all the options, and trying to “think your way around” to arrive at the right answer.
It can even lead to overthinking self-help itself, endlessly trying to find the perfect mindset or solution but focusing on the triggers instead of actually feeling better and moving forward.
Helpful questions: What if I don’t need a solution right away?
self-criticism
We are our own worst critics. This is when we give ourselves a hard time, put ourselves down, and deny our worth. Instead of just noticing a mistake, change, or problem, your mind starts judging you by it, telling you that you should have done better or that something is wrong because of it, and it’s usually persistent.
Helpful questions: If my friend were in my shoes, would I tell them this?
focused attention on oneself
This is interesting and for me a strong crossover with threat monitoring. It has become very self-conscious in nature.
This style focuses too much attention inward. Instead of being present in the moment, we become hyper-aware of ourselves, how we treat ourselves, what we say, and how we are perceived by others.
You may wonder if you seem intelligent enough, if you’re awkward, if you talk too much, if the other person likes you. In social situations, it can feel like you’re constantly looking at yourself through someone else’s eyes.
Helpful Actions: Gently direct your attention outward, toward the present moment and environment.
intrusive thoughts
This style involves thoughts, images, impulses, or mental scenarios that seem to pop into your head out of nowhere. They can be strange, unpleasant, embarrassing, and even anxiety-provoking. One moment you’re having a good day, and the next your mind throws disturbing thoughts.
Intrusive thoughts are a normal part of being human. Most people experience it from time to time. But some people have intrusive thoughts, find them strange, and move on. Others get carried away with it and overthink it at the time.
A helpful note: Thoughts are not facts and do not reflect who I am.
As you read through the seven styles, you may find yourself fitting into one, several, or all of them. That’s completely normal. There is no simple right/wrong, and certainly no good/bad. The goal here is not to completely categorize your overthinking. Instead, use this as a tool to understand the patterns your mind tends to fall into, or move between.
I truly believe that if you can recognize your overthinking style, you can break out of it, or at least respond to it in a more beneficial way, by finding strategies and interventions that suit your particular pattern.
The next time you find yourself in a spiral, pull out this list and ask, “What type of overthinking is this?” Often that question alone is enough to interrupt the loop in your mind and bring you back to yourself and the moment. That moment of realization may seem like a small thing, but it’s often the first real step to getting off autopilot and back into control of your own mind.
I used to celebrate by just spending the day overthinking one situation. Now it usually doesn’t last that long. The main difference is that I notice it much faster and can recognize it for what it is. So it’s not something that needs to be solved or fixed, it’s a well-known style of overthinking.
About Carly Ann
Carly Ann is an online psychotherapist and podcast host specializing in self-esteem. She works with people who appear to be happy, but who struggle with self-doubt, anxiety, and recurring patterns in relationships and social situations. Carly Ann helps people understand the deeper roots of their problems, break unhelpful cycles, and build more stable confidence and self-esteem. She is passionate about sharing tools and insights that many of us didn’t know about. Website / Instagram / Podcast: Lessons in Self-worth
