In the flow of teaching and practice, certain truths, both simple and profound, emerge repeatedly. They are gentle guides who help us work through overwhelming emotions, compulsive habits, and busy minds.
A conversation recently crystallized three memories that I keep coming back to. These are practical and powerful, so you can use them right away this week.
Sit by the fire of emotions (not in it)
When strong emotions arise, such as anger, sadness, jealousy, or grief, our instincts are often to either completely engulf them or run away from them. There is a halfway path.
Think of your emotions like fire. Your job is not to jump in and get burned or run away from its warmth. The invitation is to sit by it.
With gentle courage, you can acknowledge the existence of those feelings. You can breathe and feel it without being consumed.
How to do it: For the next three breaths, just stay close to that feeling. Be curious. News:
where is it in your body?
What is its size, temperature, and shape?
What message does that convey to you?
Top Tip: If the intensity spikes above 7/10, gently expand your attention to the sounds in the room, the feeling of your feet on the floor, or the flow of your breath. Return to that feeling only when you feel you have the space. This honors your agency and makes the practice trauma-sensitive.
Force is not a connection
Doomscrolling, late-night snacking, and overworking ourselves: These behaviors promise relief, but they often leave us feeling empty and like we’ve lost ourselves. Instead of criticizing yourself, you can deal with that urge with mindfulness.
The key is to stop and ask a simple but powerful question: “What do I actually need?”
Often that urge is a misplaced request for rest, real connection, movement, nourishment, etc.
Your Practice: Waves of Impulse
Name the trigger that starts the loop. Take three conscious breaths to create space. Ask yourself, “What do I really need right now?” Choose one small act of kindness to meet a real need.
For teachers and guides, frame this as a “24-hour curiosity fast” from one small obsession and hold a short debriefing session.
Reset your nervous system with Awe
During a total solar eclipse, the world stands still and even the birds become silent. You don’t need a celestial event to get this feeling.
Awe can be found in everyday things, like a child’s laughter, the steam rising from your mug in the morning, or the wind blowing through the leaves of a tree. Awe eases our preoccupation with the self, broadens our horizons, and naturally resets our overwhelmed nervous systems.
A short sequence to integrate everything
Below is a simple 7-10 minute exercise that incorporates these three considerations.
Arrival (1 minute): Take 3 conscious breaths. Give yourself permission to keep your eyes open, change your position, or stand up. Sit by the Fire (3-4 minutes): Choose one of your current emotions. Practice approaching with curiosity and expanding your attention as needed. Surfing Urge (2-3 minutes): Think about your most recent compulsive urge. Trigger → Body Cue → Map your selection in your head. Rehearse one kinder option for next time. Awe Scan (1-2 minutes): Look around you and name one beautiful unscripted detail in your environment. Let’s express our sincere gratitude in a short way.
Dig deeper with new podcast episodes
To help you make these reminders a reality, we’ve released three new podcast episodes.
What should I teach first as a mindfulness teacher?
– A practical sequence for your initial session, focusing on safety, options, and simple anchors. Listen on Apple/Spotify
Allow yourself to just feel the space (guided meditation)
– A gentle and supportive container for learning to “sit by the fire” of your emotions. (Also on. Listen on Apple / Spotify)
Guided meditation: How to stay present longer
– Build your ability to be yourself without forcing yourself with portable cues that are always available. Listen on Apple/Spotify
If you receive one of these reminders, I’d love to hear what changed. How have you adapted it to your life and practice?
