When you feel overwhelmed and feel the urge to resist or suppress feelings of pain, confusion, or misery, use this meditation from recovery coach Emily Jane to practice staying present with courage and compassion.
One of the core principles of mindfulness practice that can be challenging for people is the idea that it actually makes more sense to accept emotions than to resist them. Especially when it comes to painful, confusing, or frightening emotions, this move toward ourselves with compassion can feel incredibly counterintuitive.
This week, author and recovery coach Emily Jane guides you through practices you can use whenever you need support to bring curiosity, courage, and compassion to difficult experiences.
Concrete sympathy for difficult emotions
Read and practice the guided meditation script below, pausing between each paragraph. Or listen to audio exercises.
When we experience difficult emotions, our natural tendency is to suppress or resist them, but this resistance often creates more stress and suffering. In this meditation, we begin to gently transform our relationships by creating space for uncomfortable emotions. We invite them in and sit with them compassionately, like old friends.
We begin our meditations with mindful awareness and then turn to the emotions, sensations, and parts of ourselves that we usually avoid or wish we didn’t have to feel.
Start by finding a comfortable position by sitting in a chair, sitting on your bed or floor, or lying down. When you are ready, close your eyes or lower your gaze. Relax your shoulders and soften your jaw, opening and closing your jaw a few times to create small movements and encourage release. Try to soften the small muscles around your eyes, forehead, and cheeks as much as possible. Now bring awareness to the surface below you. Feel how that support supports you. If your feet are touching the floor, feel the connection between your feet and the ground and feel the support that is already here. Pay attention to your body temperature and the temperature of the air around you. Notice the weight of your body and the gentle force of gravity supporting you. Next, focus on the natural rhythm of your breathing. Follow the path of your breath through your body. Notice how the breath enters your body and where it reaches in your body, perhaps your chest, belly, and ribs. And notice how it leaves your body. Feel each full breath from beginning to end, then feel the next breath. Next, take a deep breath through your nose, let the breath flow into your stomach, and exhale with a sigh. Then breathe in through your nose again and exhale slowly while sighing. Now turn your attention to your entire body. Notice how it feels to be you in this body in this moment. See if you can approach your experience with curiosity and compassion. Become aware of every sensation, noting any emotions or areas of tension, discomfort, or heaviness that are present. Whatever is here, allow it to be here and see if you can gently make space for it. Now, notice what you are aware of. The part of you that is aware of your breath, your body, your sensations, your emotions. Close yourself to consciousness itself, this observing being, and see if you can notice its qualities. Perhaps there is calmness, tranquility, or a sense of peace and compassion here. Rest for a moment in this benevolent consciousness. If you feel supported, place one hand over your heart. Feel the warmth of your hands, gentle pressure and just provide body care and support. Next, recall the difficult emotion, memory, or situation. Nothing too strenuous, just something that feels a bit challenging. Maybe it’s something that’s been worrying you lately, an interaction that’s made you upset or irritated, or just an emotion you’ve been having. As you remember this, notice what is happening inside your body. Perhaps a feeling of restlessness, pressure, heaviness, or sinking may begin to appear. Maybe you’ll notice a certain emotion. Feel whatever happens and name the feeling. Describe every sensation. Just observe the sensation, just witness the discomfort or pain with compassion, and see if you can accept the experience here without immediately pushing it away. Please remember. You don’t have to pretend everything is okay and you don’t have to like it. But see if you can welcome it, make space for it, and let it be. If you find this difficult, that’s okay. It’s human nature to resist discomfort, so if there’s resistance, note it without judgement. When you sit with this emotion or sensation, you notice that there is space around you. The space inside the body and the space around the body. The support underneath you is still there. The breath is still moving and this emotion, this sensation is just part of your experience. It’s part of you, but not all of you. Next, move a little closer to your emotion and gently place your hand on the area where you feel the emotion or sensation most strongly. Through your hands, offer the words, “I see you. I am here with you. I offer you space, compassion, and love.” Notice what happens when you say these words. Maybe this part of you responds to those words. Maybe there will be less resistance to it. Perhaps you will feel less discomfort, less pain, or even a sense of peace. Maybe nothing will change. Whatever happens, it’s okay. There is no right way to experience this. Spend a little more time with this feeling, this feeling. Then return your attention to your breathing, and as you inhale, imagine breathing compassion into your body. Allow it to flow into your emotional center and expand into the space around you as you exhale. Breathe in compassion and breathe out compassion. And as you breathe, allow this feeling to integrate into the fullness of your being. Then begin to feel your whole body. Feel the support beneath you, the ground supporting you, the support of gravity. Gently remind yourself of this quote: “You can be present with difficult emotions when you create a space of compassion for them.” Then gently return your awareness to the space around you. Pay attention to the sounds in the room and the temperature of the air. Invites gentle movement to your body. It might just be a gentle rocking or a light wave of your arm. Take one last deep breath into your stomach and exhale completely. When you’re ready, open your eyes and go back to your favorite time.
