“And now, the day has come when the risk of staying tight on the buds was more painful than the risk of flowers blooming.” ~AnaïsNin
I thought something was wrong with me.
I cried the wrong moment. I felt anxious before the phone, but only to know that the others are very upset. I walked into the room and could quickly feel who was fighting, who was sad and who was fighting, even if no one said a word.
People called me empathy. Intuitive. But mostly I felt strange. I was overwhelmed. other. excessively.
I tried everything to stop it. Therapy was a little helpful, but only on the surface. I learned the language of trauma, boundaries and projection, but still, I felt like I was carrying more than my own.
About a year after one therapist, she finally said, “You’re not thinking about things worrying. You’re honestly always right. That’s a big difference. And I don’t know how to help you.”
The truth is, I wasn’t broken. I was open energetically. And no one told me how to close.
The moment everything clicks
It was from my wild years, a seemingly endless journey of personal growth, and I was sitting on a date.
I didn’t look up, but answered what I thought was a question the guy over me had asked. His face turned pale when I looked up.
“I thought so,” he said. “But I didn’t say it out loud.”
I did so many inner work. Still, I was there again. I feel like I’ve done something wrong.
When someone in the same room spoke about sadness, I felt punched in my stomach. Not philosophical – my body literally responded. I didn’t know where I ended and what other people started.
In a moment of despair late at night, I Googled something like “How to Stop Reading People’s Thoughts.”
I ended up calling with a woman I found online. She said to me, “Oh, you’re wide open, right?” and she said something she didn’t know I was waiting for:
“I need to refuse this.”
After all, I was just not sensitive. There was no boundary of energy.
My body, my emotions, my intuition – it wasn’t included. I walked around like the door that opened my life, receiving every gust of emotions and energy that my path came.
That wasn’t sympathy. That wasn’t anxious. It was a lack of containment.
The difference between love and intertwining
Growing up, I thought being a good friend, daughter or partner means feeling everything else has felt. I was often praised for quietly predicting the emotions of others in a way that protected me from harm in a closed room. If the person I loved was sad, I had to grieve with them. If they were worried, I’d try to absorb it and fix it. If I thought they could hurt me, I protected them and healed them.
This orientation towards helping people who are emotionally unstable did not serve me.
When I was young, I thought it was compassion. Later, I thought it was codependent. But it was actually energetic hostility.
Over time, I tracked my inner compass.
My charm was confused. My decision was reactive. My body was tired.
I was always on the way to so much information flow, so I didn’t know what I needed.
Costs were more than just emotional fatigue. It was a disconnect from me.
Practice that saved me
The most interesting thing is that the solution was simple.
There is a grounding practice that is intuitive people that people have used for centuries. I had no one in my life.
I often imagine a parallel timeline with elders who taught me to cleverly close rather than connect myself to those who need to face their karma without intervention.
It started with a simple picture.
I imagined the ground cord from the foot of my spine, securing me deep into the earth. With every breath I let out something that wasn’t mine into the soil.
Then I restored my energy. I imagined it would come back from all the places I left it.
Next, I zipped myself up. literally.
I visualized the golden zipper running in front of my body and sealed the energy field. I imagined a soft dome of light around me. I couldn’t get anything in unless I invited it.
I still love, I’m still intuitive, I’m still me.
But now I was separate too. Do not shut down.
Grounding and selection
Grounding, closing, and choosing when to open and when to place my “closed” signups is part of my daily life. If something feels a little farther away, I know I’m pulling out information that is probably not mine.
The truth is, it’s not good for me or them to jump into someone’s feelings, fears, or thoughts without the container, agreement, or consent.
Today, using my gifts is something I save for my work.
The world needs sensitive and intuitive people, but no one has been depleted and lost in the pain of others.
The most powerful thing you can do for others is to stay with your own energy and listen honestly.
I still feel things deeply. But now I know from within myself, how I feel from within myself, not from within other people’s stories.
And it made all the difference.
About Christina Lane
Christina Lane is a physical embodiment coach for intuitive, empathetic, and extremely sensitive people who keep the gifts of the body ground and living with clarity, consent and deep connection. You can connect here.
