“And the day has come when the risk of staying tight on the buds is more painful than the risk of flowers blooming.” ~AnaïsNin
What is it about us that we make you wait for permission? To do what we want. Who we are? We wait until we “get” it, until we are thinner, smarter, more talented. Until finally, it’s good enough.
Everyone has dreams, right? Some people want to travel. Some people want to write a book. Others dream of running a marathon. Or something small: a bold haircut. Or something big: Stop working to drain you.
Still, we will wait.
I’m waiting for someone to say, “You’re going to look amazing with short hair.” Or, for someone to nod to our resignation plan and say, “Yes, you should go for it.” That’s when we feel permitted. That’s when we move.
I know it’s waiting. I lived it.
Find my voice
As a child, I sang constantly. But no one praised it. My family was almost irritated. So I stopped. I sang when I was alone. Then, in a shared student flat, I was terrified of stopping completely and annoying others again. I was never able to choose it for myself.
Last year, I realized I still love singing. deeply. There was no need for a record contract or an audience. I had to sing. So I signed up for the lesson.
And something changed.
The vy Nozomi I felt about the other singers disappeared. I no longer need to look outside, and I don’t need to praise people who have given me permission to take up space. I was finally doing what I always wanted to do.
The power of permission
That small, seemingly unrealistic thing changed the way I saw it all. Because it wasn’t really about singing. It was about permission. It was to allow myself to follow what illuminated me, even if no one else understood it, and it didn’t look productive or impressive.
The more I sang, the more I felt connected to myself. Singing wasn’t just a hobby. It became a practice of self-connection. A form of expression that did not require explanation. How to feel my emotions directly. A space that doesn’t have to be “good” and just doesn’t have to be real.
I kept thinking: Why did I wait so long? Why did I think I needed the approval of someone else to do something that made me feel so alive?
And that made me wonder: what else do we do? What are we hungry for? Not in our stomachs, but in our souls?
From productivity to presence
The world is full of beauty. There’s so much to explore, feel and create. The colors to wear, where to visit, ideas to follow. Yet, in many cases we are taught to value productivity rather than existence. I recommend measuring our value rather than how deeply we live. Even joy is shaped by consumption rather than simply being with yourself.
As an empathetic child, I have learned to listen a lot. I’ve come to help others feel better. I was anxious and eager to be liked, especially by bigger children, people who seemed confident and confident in themselves. I felt like a shadow, orbiting them like a small planet around the bright sun.
Without realizing it, I gave other people a lot of strength. Their approval made me feel like I belonged to me. But I really couldn’t see it. I adjusted, adapted, slowly moved away from myself.
Now, when I reconnect with who I really are, I realize how strong and stable my voice is. It’s warm and grounded. And the more I am rooted in myself, the more I want to reach out to others. Rather than prove something, share honesty. From a place that feels authentic.
It will be my own sun
Singing, writing, exploring my inner world. These practices make me shine. Sounds strange, but they help me see who I am. They help me ask: Who am I circling? Who are you waiting for?
Or maybe, maybe I’m no one spinning anymore. Maybe I’ve become my own sun.
A few years ago I didn’t know that this could feel stable. To be able to set everything on fire by something as old and simple as using my voice is nothing but awe-inspiring.
Why is it important?
For a while I wondered, why is it so important that I feel good? Why is it important to me sing, write, and listen? Isn’t that selfish? Isn’t it enough to live quietly and be kind?
I struggled with that. But I came to believe this. When we are connected to ourselves, we really, deeper – we appear differently. Be more honest. Be more gentle. More powerful. Not only for ourselves, but for others. Using your voice will not only make you see in any way. It’s about matching. And it’s easier from that place to love, give, create realistic things.
I also realized how much I admired expressive people. I love watching them and listening to them. Through them I see myself more clearly. I understand life better. Not only through psychology, theory and refined words, but also through colours, soft fabrics, melody, laughter and tears.
I never imagined I could be one of those people. A person who creates something raw and authentic from living experience. Someone who changes the pain and finds it strange to see something touching others.
I didn’t think I was talented enough. I didn’t think anyone would care. I didn’t think I had permission. But now I know: I need to give it a try. Because when I don’t, I feel numb. I lost a little. It’s like light – not entirely, but enough to make me wonder who I am and what I intend to do in this world.
Invitation
If my work resonates with anyone, I am deeply grateful. But most of all, I hope they encourage others to adapt to themselves. I hope to share what is in my heart as a vulnerable and kind, as an artist, as a friend, as a stranger, as a human being.
Because I believe in this now: when we find and express our true voice, we open the door to real connection. That’s what I’m starving. Not only will you shine, but you will sit by your side in the light and darkness.
So let me ask:
What are you hungry for, not in your stomach, but in your mind? What are you quietly asking you over and over?
When I talk to friends and clients, I often find that many people can’t answer this question immediately. When our wishes, desires, and creative longings are ignored or even shamed for years, they tend to be quiet.
But that doesn’t mean they’re gone.
How to reconnect with the hungry
Here are some mild ways to rediscover what you are craving, deeper:
Look back at your childhood.
What did you like to do naturally and freely? Why did you track the time?
Be aware of what you do when you get procrastinated.
What are you actually drawn to? I sang unconsciously, sung, avoiding the task. Now I see my creative energy trying to reach me. What’s pulling on your sleeve?
Please be aware of vy wishes.
Who do you want vy and why? Envy can become a compass and is heading towards a part of yourself who wants to see and express you.
Try something unexpected.
Take classes you didn’t expect to sign up. Explore new hobbies that can be exciting, strange, or a little scary.
Follow what you feel warm, light and alive.
There’s no need to make it bigger. The colour that makes you smile. A conversation that illuminates you. A song that you keep playing over and over. That spark is important.
No permission is required to start.
Curiosity is necessary. And the courage to listen to the quiet and lasting parts of you that have been whispering forever.
About Maria Klein
Maria Klein is a psychologist (M.Sc.) specializing in self-development, emotional awareness and creativity. At her Blog Mariakleine.com, she combines academic knowledge with personal insights to explore themes such as reliability, inner growth, and meaningful life. Her work encourages reflection, self-confidence and deeper connections between one’s voice and values.
