“You don’t have to force the flow. Your only job is to soften and let go.” ~Unknown
For most of my life I was obsessed with getting everything right. plan. control. Predict all the outcomes so that I don’t get caught off guard. I saw life as a kind of puzzle. If I did the right moves in just the right order, I’ll get what I wanted. Peace, success, love.
But life doesn’t work that way.
The more I tried to control it, the more inconsistent I felt. I burn out trying to make things happen. When something went wrong, I accused myself of not expecting it. I couldn’t relax as I was constantly trying to tighten the reins and pilot the unknown.
Then one day something broke.
It was the winter of 2021. I was staying in a quiet village in southern Portugal. After a painful parting and the collapse of the startup I had put in years, I was trying to bring my life back together. I went there thinking that loneliness and fresh air would help me reset.
But I didn’t feel that anything was right.
I couldn’t concentrate. I couldn’t meditate. I couldn’t even enjoy the ocean. It was something that once brought me pure joy. Instead of peace, I felt stuck and overwhelmed. My mind played all the decisions I’ve made over the past few years like a courtroom drama. “If you did this.” “You should have seen it come.” “You ruined your shot.”
One night, I was sitting on the beach when the sun had set and I felt completely defeated. I remember seeing the waves crash rhythmically against the rocks. They didn’t care about me or my mistakes. They were not rushing or apologizing. They were just… doing their own thing.
That’s when it hit me.
Nature does not force anything. Waves don’t try to get taller. Trees don’t try to grow faster. They exist in a certain kind of trust, a natural cooperation with life. And somehow, despite it all in peace, they thrive.
What if I disrupt my flow by trying to control everything?
It wasn’t lightning. It was a softer whisper. But something has changed.
I started asking a new question every morning: “What will happen today if I don’t try to control anything?”
There was no need to force him to do anything. I was still working, I moved, I made decisions. But I tried to stay present rather than staying five steps ahead. I quickly make myself feel uncertain without reaching for a solution. I listened more – myself, my life, quiet.
And over time I realized something strange. My anxiety began to go away. It’s not at once, it’s like a fog lifting up. I stopped destroying every decision. Even though nothing had changed around me, I felt a little more peaceful.
That’s when I began to learn what I now call the flow of God.
For me, God’s current is a current of life that we can resist or surrender. It’s not passive. It’s not about “doing nothing” or giving up effort. It’s about working with something deeper, something other than mere logic or planning.
We learn to recognize that there is a season of push and that there is a season of rest. What sometimes looks like a set-off is actually an invitation to reorganize. That clarity often happens when you stop chasing it.
There is trust to build when you live like this.
You realize you don’t need to understand everything. You can still move forward with intention, but without having to grip too tightly.
Since then, I have built a more consistent life with who I am. I have begun creating a wellness event that focuses on community and connection, not perfect. I met people who inspired me by being myself. I’ve even learned to show up vulnerable, not needing to be refined or impressive, as I do now.
I still have moments of going back to my old habits. There they are trying to force outcomes or fix everything too quickly. But I’m catching myself faster than I am now. I’ve learned that tension is usually a sign that I’m not flowing.
If you’re in a space where things feel intense or get cut off, here are some gentle invitations that will help me reconnect with the flow:
Make me feel lost. There’s no need to hurry and “understand it.” Sometimes, the most fertile growth occurs in spaces that allow people to feel confused and uncertain. Listen more than analyse it. Instead of trying to force an answer, sit down with your questions. journal. walk. Come think of them without having to catch them. Release the timeline. Things don’t have to happen on your schedule. You are not late. You are not behind. You’re just unfolding. Seek for signs. But don’t cling to them. When you are quiet enough to hear, life can whisper direction. But the key is to listen without expectation or pressure. Go back to breath. When your heart is spiral, it will lock you in the present. breath. A step. for a moment.
We cannot always choose what happens to us, but we can choose how we encounter life. With resistance – or with curiosity. With fear or with confidence.
Lately, I’ve still been sitting as close to the ocean as I can. I’m still watching the waves. I remember that there is a rhythm under everything, and that my only real job is to keep it soft enough to feel it.
Maybe that’s all we had to do.
About Mark Rice
Marc Rice is the founder of Vibetribe.io, a platform for conscious events and mindful community. He writes about healing, synchrony, and alignment with God’s flow.
