“Some people are empowered by travel, others are inspired by the warmth of home. Some thrive in the spotlight, while others feel called to support those on stage. Some people wear half-clothes and swear like sailors. Some people are comfortable with this, while others prefer humility and kindness. The important thing is that we are all empowered and inspired in different ways. It’s not our job to decide what we look like to other people.” ~ Brooke Hampton
In 1992, the Olympics were on and my father was glued to the screen. He called me to see it with him, and although I didn’t know it at the time, that moment would change my life.
I remember seeing a woman dancing to music in the pool. Her movements flow effortlessly in and out of the water. It’s called synchronized swimming and it was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Something about her presence, the grace and joy of her movements stirred something deep within me. At that moment I knew I had to try it myself.
Swimming became my world. It brought me joy I had never known before. It’s a feeling of being complete inside and connected to something outside of yourself. I discovered a part of myself in that water, and over the years it has been a constant source of fulfillment.
But when I reached a certain level of skill, I came to a crossroads. At 18 years old, I had to make a choice. Should I continue swimming at an elite level, or should I take the “normal” route and go to college and pursue a “real” career like everyone else? Society had made it clear which path was realistic and expected, and I felt implicit pressure to follow it.
In the end, I chose “safety”. I quit swimming and studied to become a registered nurse. For a while, I was proud of my decision. Nursing was a rewarding career, and I was seen as a person with a purpose and even a “hero” by those around me. I had stability, respect, and everything I thought I should want.
But there was something else there too. It was a quiet feeling of emptiness that I couldn’t ignore. It was a gnawing feeling, like I had left behind a part of myself that I could never get back. Despite being appreciated as a nurse, I still had deep, lingering doubts. “Is this all you need?”
I wanted to fill that gap and decided to try something completely different. I started training in aerial arts just for fun. But soon, “just for fun” grew into much more than that. Aerial art opened up a part of me that I had closed off, a part of me that felt fully alive. And the more I trained, the more I realized that this is what I really wanted. My passion was strong enough that in my 30s I received a contract as a professional circus performer.
For the first time since my swimming days, I felt complete. But with this new identity came new judgments and questions. I was no longer seen as a nurse with a “real” career, but as a dreamer. People couldn’t understand why I quit a secure job with a severance plan to fly in silk. I started questioning my purpose… again!
Then one day I realized something powerful. I was used to seeing the joy on the faces of children in the audience, but when I looked closer, I saw the same sparkle of joy in the eyes of the adults. I realized that I was offering something important that not many people experience. I was giving them time to experience wonder, to escape the pressures of everyday life.
At that moment, I knew exactly what my purpose was. I’m here to bring joy, not just to the kids, but to everyone watching.
Years later, I got married and had two beautiful children. It was a joy like no other. But as I adjusted to my new life, I found myself struggling with the same feeling of emptiness again, this time tinged with guilt. I had a lot to be grateful for. A loving family, two wonderful children. How can I feel this way? I was thousands of miles away from my family and community, exhausted, and trying to navigate the challenges of motherhood. I realized that I had lost myself again. I could feel it.
My husband noticed how heavy my heart was, and one day he brought me a gift: a set of paintbrushes and a blank canvas. He encouraged me to try something new and see if it helped me reconnect with myself. I hadn’t painted since I was a child, so I didn’t know if it would be useful, but I picked up a paintbrush. That small act rekindled something in me that I thought had gone away. For the first time in years, I felt excited, inspired, and awake.
Painting became a new way for me to pursue joy, and I felt my purpose deepen as I created art. I was creating work that could be shared that might bring beauty to the world and bring joy to someone else. Art allowed me to process my emotions and express my inner world, making me feel whole again.
As I look back on this journey, I realize that joy has been my compass throughout. Life can lead us down unexpected paths, and sometimes society’s expectations can lead us away from our true calling. But when we listen to that inner voice and follow what brings us joy, we find a direction that feels right, even if it doesn’t make sense to others.
Here are some insights I gleaned along the way.
Joy can be a powerful guide.
If we let it, joy will show us where we need to go, even if the path isn’t clear. It is worth listening to its charm and using it as our compass.
Embracing change leads to a sense of fulfillment.
Choosing joy often means stepping into the unknown. It can mean letting go of the “practical” and risking the uncertain. But with each change, I got closer to who I was meant to be.
Life’s journey sometimes brings us full circle.
I started with swimming, returned to performance in a new way, and eventually found a home in art. Sometimes joy brings us back to what we once loved and left behind. When we accept that, we open ourselves up to growth and fulfillment.
Looking back, I am grateful for the courage it took to continue listening to my intuition. It led me to nursing, aerial performance, and eventually canvas, revealing more of who I am at each step. I’ve learned that when we allow ourselves to pursue joy, no matter what it is, we move closer to the life we’re meant to live.
About Josie Ane Sakura
Josie.Ane Sakura is an artist and certified yoga teacher who uses painting to bring beauty and joy to the world. Connecting art and health is very important to her as she believes that creativity and healing are connected. Connect with Josie at heartsyourlife.com.
