Whether you’re an avid fan of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives or not, there’s no denying the mom collective’s influence on culture and social media. Many of the cast members bring drama and girlfights that people will pay attention to, but there’s also Macy Neely. Macy is a 30-year-old mother of three, the owner of a prenatal nutrition business, and, as of a few days ago, a New York Times bestselling author.
Her story is one of many twists and turns and traumas, some revealed on the show and others kept close to her chest until the book was published. Through it all, she’s been both serious and silly, holding up hilarious TikToks to show me on Zoom and entertaining me with stories of the twerking dance videos she and Mikayla Matthews were too embarrassed to upload. We caught up with Macy ahead of the book’s release to learn more about her writing process, her favorite makeup products, her go-to beauty treatments, and how she views her role in the viral MomTok group. Please jump in first.
Congratulations on your book! Have you always been interested in writing, or was it just a way to solve everything? Did you enjoy the process?
“When I was a kid, I didn’t like to write. Sometimes I’d write lyrics to songs and weird stuff like that, right? Once you get into high school and you write a lot of essays and stuff, writing sucks. Then in college you write 10-page I didn’t like it, but I was always pretty good at it. I think once I got into professional broadcast journalism, I started to enjoy it more. I think it’s more fun to do things that you enjoy and are excited about. So I think when I got a little older and started writing about things that I enjoyed, I started liking it. ”
How long were you working on the book?
“I always say that the last 10 years have been a huge undertaking. Because I wrote a blog that very concisely summed up my story, and then I wrote in this black diary, which is mentioned in the book. I wrote some very deep things throughout my pregnancy and for a little while afterwards. I’ve been writing a lot of different things over the years. I’ve always wanted to write a book. Since I’ve been through this ordeal, I’ve been regularly writing Word docs and Google. So it took me a whole year to piece it all together, but it definitely got easier because I’ve been writing songs for the last 10 years or so, but it was still a difficult process.
Speaking of trials and tribulations, what makes you feel better when you’re having a hard day of grief, trauma, etc.?
“Honestly, there are times when I’m just all by myself. Being a mom makes me feel so busy. When I’m going through something hard or stressful, I’ll say to my husband, ‘I need some time. Let me take a shower.'” Sometimes he puts the kids to bed and I can relax, watch a show, and just unwind. He’s great in that respect. When I’m really feeling down, I like to go for a walk or listen to music. I feel like music has been a big part of both my grief journey and my healing journey. I love music and it can make me feel better and change the way I think. I also love going to the movies when I want to forget something. ”
You have a reputation as a peacemaker and always seem to have everyone’s side. Have you always been like that, or have you ever fallen into that role within your friend group?
“I think it’s a mixture. I’ve always been a pretty level-headed person, to be honest, but I feel like I kind of fell into that role with this group of friends, to be honest. I feel like after going through all the trials and heartbreak and abuse, it’s made me a better person. And I think I’ve become calmer, more understanding, more empathetic. So I think I’ve changed over the years.”
If you had gone and talked to Macy when you were 18, things would have been different. Because I went through a period during the abuse where I became a different person. I’m not saying I was a bad person, but I was definitely more aggressive, nervous, and sensitive. And I like that side of myself. It comes up sometimes. When I was pregnant, you’ll see if you watch season 3, it definitely came out a little more. You can see I was definitely meaner. It’s true that I get irritated at times, but unless something really happens, I’m pretty calm. There are certainly aspects of both.
I’m very calm 97% of the time, but the other 3% of the time I’m like, if it comes up, be careful. All girls always think, “I want to see that side come out.” I said, “No, that’s not true.” It came up a bit when I watched Layla while I was pregnant, so I guess I’ll be watching it this season. She was like, “You’re a scary person,” and I was like, “Well, yeah, you pissed me off.” It doesn’t come up very often, but it’s underutilized. I’ll stand up for myself. I say what I think should be said. I’ll defend myself, but I’m not going to put myself in the middle of a drama that doesn’t concern me or concerns me. I mean, you can have my opinion heard and I’ll give it too, but I don’t need to get involved in it or put myself out there because I like my peace. I like to sleep at night and not feel stressed, so I try to avoid things most of the time. ”
Tell us about your new book, “I Told You So.”
“I think people who read this book will be surprised to see a different side of me that they don’t normally see. On the show, you see a version of me, and that’s who I am, and[when you read the book]you almost see the inner workings of my brain. Things that I’ve been through. I think a lot of people can understand why I’m the way I am because of that. I feel like this show doesn’t just scratch the surface of my story, what really happened, what I did.” I think that also passes. I think a lot of women can really relate to this. I would be happy if everyone could read it. ”
Tell us about your favorite beauty products.
“When it comes to makeup, I’m a big fan of DIBS. I love the Dibs Contour Stick ($38) and use it all the time. For my eyebrows, I love the Anastasia Brow Pen ($28). For lips, my favorite that I feel is not as popular yet is Lawless. I’m obsessed with Lawless Liner ($21) and Lawless Gloss ($26). As far as powder goes, I’m a polite society person. Translucent powder ($34), which I use a lot.For eyes, I love Aspyn Ovard’s Tarte Palette ($45).If I don’t wear a spray tan, I love Sunnee BAEskin Foam ($28). I like I also like Coco & Eve ($39).
Why is it so much fun? I try to think of all the little things I want to do. If I do eyelashes, I use Prolash, which lasts about a week. I like them. When it comes to skin care, I switch things up a lot. I use Prequel cleanser ($22), but then I use Drunk Elephant. I also use clear stems a lot. There are many.
I also fell in love with K-beauty. I used ILLIYOON’s Gentle Lotion ($14). I have really dry skin, so I love lotions and the like, so I lather my body up at night, especially when I’m pregnant. Utah gets very dry so I have to lather it up every night. ”
Do you offer any beauty treatments?
“Obviously, we love Botox. We actually want to start doing lasers. I’ve had it done once about two years ago and it made my skin look great. I also did the BBL Moxie Combo. I’d love to do it again, but I can’t do it while I’m filming. I actually don’t do facials that often. I do Hydrafacials every once in a while.”
