During my junior year of college, I became obsessed with going to the gym.
That may be understandable, because it’s good to prioritize your health. Don’t you feel so satisfied when you complete a workout?
Well, the thing is, all I wanted to do was wear a dress.
I set a goal weight for myself and thought:
“If I reach this goal weight, I’ll be able to wear that dress, and every little problem in my life will disappear because I’ll look good in that dress. I’ll finally be happy with myself.”
I was wholeheartedly committed to that goal and was able to fit the dress perfectly in the end.
But then I had the horrible realization that I no longer felt good about myself. I had the same problem as before and still didn’t like the way I looked.
I had to accept the harsh reality. That means my happiness wasn’t dependent on my weight or appearance.
Perhaps the even harder truth to accept is that I wasn’t happy with myself.
I wasn’t happy with who I was as a person. I couldn’t accept who I was and felt I needed to change.
This was a turning point for me and I am still learning.
I began to realize that if I am not happy with who I am as a person, focusing on the material or physical world will not provide what I feel is missing.
So if you often say to yourself, “If only I had this, I’d be happy,” it might be time to reevaluate your relationship with yourself.
Of course, this is easier said than done.
If you haven’t felt good enough before, how can you start feeling good about who you are? Are you okay with who you are?
Let’s explore what it means to accept yourself and how you can learn to be happy with who you are as a person.
journey to self-acceptance
To be happy with who you are, you must begin a journey towards self-acceptance.
Self-acceptance means seeing yourself as you are and choosing to be okay with what you find.
Most of us like what we think are our strengths and dislike what we think are our weaknesses.
Accepting only part of yourself means you don’t fully accept yourself.
When we can’t accept the parts of ourselves that we think are “wrong,” we’re simply pushing away parts of ourselves.
Instead of pushing it away, you need to ask, “Why do I feel this is wrong?” How can we use this to help ourselves and others?
Once you realize that what makes you different is what helps you create your own original and unique blueprint for life, you will move closer to accepting yourself.
Now I say self-acceptance is a journey, because it is a lifelong work.
Many people advise you to try to love yourself as you are.
The problem with this advice is that in most cases, like ourselves.
How can you love yourself if you don’t love yourself first?
You may need to completely rebuild your relationship with yourself before you can love and accept yourself for who you are.
And there’s a concept I’d like to share that I hope will help make the process easier.
Know yourself, love yourself, trust yourself
If you’ve ever worked with marketers, you may have heard of the “know/trust” factor.
The concept is that for a customer to become loyal to your brand, they first need to know, like, and trust you.
I think this is the perfect framework for rebuilding your relationship with yourself so that you can work toward self-acceptance.
The meaning of each part is as follows.
1. Know yourself
“Knowing” begins with being introduced to a brand or company. A friend might tell you about the brand, or you might see someone mentioning it on Instagram.
You’re intrigued, so see what they are. We noticed that this brand focuses on sustainability, which is important to you.
This is similar to knowing yourself and understanding who you are. Knowing yourself involves examining your values and aspirations. You have to know what you stand for, what you value, and what your dreams are for the future.
What kind of person are you? Who do you want to be? What experiences have shaped who you are today? What are your values? What causes are important to you? Why are these things meaningful to you?
2. Be yourself
Once you know a brand, you can see what it has to offer.
Save some products to your wishlist and see glowing reviews from other customers.
When you discover that a brand’s social media manager has a great sense of humor, you love them even more.
Part of loving yourself involves identifying the parts of yourself that you want your friends to find.
The key is to ask yourself, “What do I like about myself (blank space)?” For example, what do you like about the way you treat others? What do you like about the way you carry yourself at work? What do you like about the way you live your life?
3. Trust yourself
Once you’ve been enamored with a brand for a while, you decide to make a purchase. If the experience is great and the product meets their expectations, they will start trusting the brand.
However, trust can sometimes be broken. If a brand says they value sustainability, but ships their products in the least sustainable packaging, you’ll question their ethics. Depending on how important it is to you, you may never shop from that store again.
By keeping your promises and making decisions based on your values, you build trust with yourself.
Of course, sometimes forgiveness is necessary. The brand apologizes. You apologize to yourself and give yourself grace for your failure.
But when you break your promises rather than keep them, trust begins to crumble.
Trust builds when you can define what’s important to you and make decisions from there.
In order to believe in yourself, you must continue to strive to know and love yourself. This process requires continued effort and effort, but it’s worth it when you learn to live in alignment with your values.
Read next: 3 ways to build trust with yourself
Are you satisfied with who you are now?
After all, there’s no need to try to be someone you’re not. You don’t need anything else to complete you.
You are already whole, but you must accept yourself to experience that wholeness.
The path to contentment and self-acceptance becomes more attainable if you simply focus on knowing, loving, and trusting yourself.
