“You can’t calm the storm, so you won’t try it. All you can do is calm yourself. The storm passes.” ~ Timber Hawkeye
Overwhelming doesn’t always mean you knock politely. Sometimes it collides with my day like an unexpected storm. One moment, I’m fine, the next moment, I’m spiraling in my head.
You’ve been frozen in your car in a grocery store car park, but if you’re staring vaguely at a to-do list that feels like a personal attack now, you’re not alone.
Here are six things I rely on when I feel totally overwhelmed. All of them don’t fix everything, but they all help me find my footing again.
1. I’m now stopping to “understand everything.”
When I get overwhelmed, my brain turns into a malfunction computer with 87 tabs open and not loaded. I’ll try to solve everything at once right away.
But thinking hard won’t fix it. It just frys my system.
I learned to pause and remind myself: I don’t need to correct my life in this exact moment. When I spiral into the “fix everything” mode (scream for ADHD), I write down anything I remember or try to control. If you do that, I won’t ignore it. I just park it somewhere so I can get over what I actually have to do right now.
2. Choose one thing you can.
Sometimes I stare at the mountains and forget that I can just take a step. My brain is in a “do it now or fail” mode right away. And that means I will never do anything other than think about it as unproductive and dislike myself.
So I stop and ask: what is the next 5 minute task I can do without using my last brain cells?
It’s not the entire kitchen. Remove the plate from the sink. It’s not the entire inbox. Respond to one email that has been bothering you for days. One drawer. One call. One invoice.
It’s not appealing, but it’s the way I’m making my brain a trick. Because five minutes of action beats two hours of yourself to do nothing. Small progress is still progress. And sometimes it is the only kind available.
3. I ground something sensory.
When anxiety hits, it’s like my brain taking over my whole body. Suddenly, I was not only overwhelmed by stress. At that moment, the amount of logic doesn’t work because my nervous system doesn’t bother me that everything is technically fine.
So instead of trying to figure out how to get out of my path (it doesn’t work), I shift my focus to the physical one. Take a cool shower, drink a cold glass of water, light a candle, or wear your favorite scented lotion. I had previously had an ice cube to shock my brain into my body.
Sometimes I sit with my cat and say, “Okay, this is true. This is here. I’m not chased by a bear.”
Sensory grounding is actually useful. It’s not deep or deep, but it’s a relief to basic anxiety. Honestly, that’s the vibe I’m aiming for when I’m spiraling: I’ll survive first and analyze later.
4. Perform a 10-minute reset (no phone call).
I set a timer and do something quiet and simple. No phone calls, news, or notifications. Only 10 minutes without input. That alone feels like a luxury.
I sit outside and zone out what the wind is doing. Or color it like a boring kindergartener. Sometimes I wash my dishes really slowly, just as I do a meditative art form instead of basic hygiene. And sometimes I lie down on the floor, staring at the ceiling as if rebooting the whole existence.
It’s not about being productive or spending your time a lot. It’s about giving me a break from what must always be present in my brain. A 10 minute still doesn’t fix everything, but it gives you plenty of room to breathe again.
5. I check my story and see the cruelty.
Overwhelming brings out the worst inner dialogue at all. My brain turns into a sneaky girl with a megaphone. She says the following
“Why can’t you handle this?”
“You’re late – Agan.”
“Everyone else is fine. What’s your excuse?”
That’s not helpful. It’s just self-bullying and dressed as a motivation.
When that voice becomes spiral I pause if a friend comes to me in the same state and try to respond as I do. “Wow, you’re really bad in life.” I say something like this:
You haven’t failed. You are overwhelmed. Understand what actually helps.
From shame, responsibility to curiosity, shame to support, that change everything. It doesn’t magically eliminate the stress, but it prevents me from kicking myself mentally while I’m already down. And honestly, it’s a victory.
6. I’ll make it a “low power mode” day.
The phone goes into low power mode when it drains. And so is me. And then, at the time, I stopped hoping I would function as if it was fully charged.
I do the bare minimum. I eat simple things (whatever has zero brain power, I’m probably in a rapper). Even if they don’t match and have suspicious stains, I’m wearing the most comfortable clothes I can find. I don’t force motivation to appear or try to “push through.” I was there and made it enough to come out of bed.
And I stop treating rest like something I have to make money. You don’t need to check five tasks or prove that you’re productive before holding your breath. Sometimes the most responsible thing I can do is shut down everything and restart it.
Because being human is difficult. Being sensitive, overly irritated, exhausted, or done is part of it. And it’s fine even if there are days when I’m not okay. There is no need to explain or justify it. The low power mode is still working. That means you’re protecting your energy enough to fully display again.
Final thoughts
Overwhelming doesn’t mean I’m broken. That usually means I was running in the air while trying to put it all together without ample rest, support or safely apart. That’s not weakness. It’s a warning light.
These six things do not magically resolve the confusion. They are not transformations or glows. They are ladders. The gentle, crude, wobbling little ladder I’ve made over time helps me climb from the little rungs of my mental spiral at once.
If you feel buried now, in your expectations, feelings, responsibility, or general life – I hope something on this list reminds you:
You don’t have to do it all. You don’t have to be productive to be worth it. You don’t have to go through the pain or prove how difficult things are.
You just come back to yourself. breath. A step. One small act of care at a time.
You have this. And even today, this means brushing your teeth, replying to one text, or microwave some sad leftovers.
You still count.
About Melissa McNamara
Melissa McNamara, creator of Happy Estere, is dedicated to showing that happiness is achievable for everyone. Her blog shares practical and factual tips and techniques for leading a healthier and fulfilling life. As a nurse practitioner, Melissa combines her healthcare expertise with clear and practical advice. Despite her early challenges, she turned difficulties into opportunities for growth. And through Happy Simple, she offers tools to help others achieve lasting happiness.
