“You may encounter many defeats, but you should not. In fact, you may need to encounter defeats, so you will know who you are.” ~Maya Angelou
There was a time in my life when everything felt heavy, like I always carried around with weights that no one else could see.
I was not in a crisis exactly. I was working, showing up, doing what I had to do. But inside, I was struggling to float. I was trapped in my own head, questioning my worth, and didn’t know how to move forward.
One night, I stepped into my first Brazilian jiu-jitsu class. I had no idea what I was doing. I didn’t even know how to tie the rules, language, or GI belt. But I was drawn to it. Because I was desperate to do something to pull me out of my spiritual spiral. The structure was needed. It needed to be a challenge. I needed to escape.
What I wasn’t expecting was that BJJ would be more than a physical exit. It has become a form of treatment. A place where I can reconnect with my body when my mind feels like a battlefield.
Find peace amidst pressure
On the surface, BJJ looks intense. But below it, it’s a quiet survival game. You breathe. I’ll adjust it. You adapt. You continue.
There was a moment when I was pinned, completely stuck and my size doubled on top of me. I’m panicking. My breath will be faster. My thoughts will compete. But then I hear my coach’s voice in the background: “Slow down. It’s fine. Just breathe.”
Those simple instructions saved me multiple times in my life, not just Matt.
Over time, I began to notice something. I settled outside of training. More patients. I’m more aware. Jiu-jitsu didn’t fix my mental health overnight, but it gave me the tools to deal with the day it all felt like too much.
Lost it…and find it again
Of course, progress is not a straight line. After several years of training, I was injured. Not once – multiples. Each injury caused me to stop, rest, and take into account the fear that I might not come back.
Without jiu-jitsu, I would have been lost again. That familiar darkness creeped up, and I realized how much I had relied on practice to remain grounded. But in the end, I came back. I’m late and cautious, but I’m more grateful than ever.
I realized that it’s the best or not to earn stripes. It was about showing up for yourself.
What I’ve learned
I thought healing meant getting rid of the pain. Now I understand that it’s about learning to live with it and not against it, but about learning how to move with it.
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu taught me how resilience was. But more importantly, it taught me to be there. When someone is trying to suffocate you, you can’t get stuck in your head. You have to be here now.
That practice of being changed the way I approached everything else: relationships, work, rest. It helped me become someone who wouldn’t give up so easily, even if things got difficult.
Why am I sharing this
Maybe you’re not into martial arts. Maybe you’ve never stepped into the gym. it’s okay. This is not about jiu-jitsu. It’s about finding something that will bring you back to yourself. It reminds you of your strength when you forget it.
It could be yoga, running, painting, journaling, hiking, music. It could be a treatment. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it helps you return to yourself.
If you are experiencing something now, I want you to know: you are not weak to struggle. You are not broken. And you are not alone.
Find your mat. And when you do, keep showing up. You may be surprised at how strong you are already.
About Robert Glover
Robert is a lifelong martial arts student and founder of Divine Jututu, a small mission-driven brand that supports mental health through community and apparel. He trains BJJs in Scotland and believes in existence, pressure, and the power that appears when it is difficult. Find him on Instagram @divine_jiujitsu or divinejiujitsu.com.
