Inside: It’s easy to feel guilty about what your child is eating (or not eating) at mealtime. Here’s why you can relax.
From the first moment you become a mother, it can feel like there are endless things that make you feel like a terrible mother.
Perhaps it’s a well-meaning but critical comment from someone, or a self-inflicted shame spiral after seeing (what appears to be) a “perfect mother” and “perfect family” on social media. .
Food is one of the big issues. It’s how you feed your child, what they eat, and what they don’t eat. As a nutritionist myself, I’ve been on some food guilt trips myself over the years (see: The Biggest Lessons I Learned About Eating My Kids).
In case someone hasn’t told you lately, you’re not a terrible mother. you are an amazing mom. And in case you need any more encouragement today, I’m also here to tell you that you can officially stop feeling guilty about these five things at dinner.
#1.Leftover vegetables
Yes, vegetables are good for us. But they are not the be-all and end-all of food. In other words, all hope is not lost even if your child hates them all.
Although your child is still learning to like vegetables, they can get similar nutrients from other foods, especially fruits. You can also keep your kids exposed to vegetables at meals and snacks, as just looking at them means they’ve been exposed to them.
Please remember. We’re playing the long game here. We hunker down and practice patience. It doesn’t matter how many bites of broccoli your child eats for dinner tonight. It’s about developing a healthy relationship with food, but that takes time.
See more: Your child hates vegetables. Well, what?
#2.Processed food
Despite what you might say, there’s no shame in using packaged or convenience foods to put dinner on the table. These foods make it easier to prepare family dinners, and that’s a good thing.
But it also appears that diets high in ultra-processed foods (the types that are more highly processed and tend to be high in sodium, sugar, and additives) may be linked to certain health problems. It’s a fact.
So it’s a matter of balance. Here are some practical ideas.
If you choose to eat frozen pizza, serve it with plenty of salad and fruit. Place the brown rice and roasted broccoli on the plate containing the boxed fish sticks. For dinner, include processed foods that contain more nutrients, such as canned beans, frozen vegetables, and dried whole-grain pasta.
Details: You don’t have to avoid processed foods. Here’s what to do instead:
#3.Ketchup, BBQ sauce, ranch dressing
If your child likes it, put sauces and dips on the table. It can make intimidating foods seem a little friendlier and can act as a “bridge” to encourage your child to try (and hopefully love) different types of foods, such as vegetables.
It can also make bland or bitter vegetables more flavorful and appealing. That means kids are likely to eat more vegetables. One study found that preschoolers ate more broccoli when it was served with dip.
As your child becomes accustomed to and accustomed to new foods, he or she probably won’t need extra flavorings to enjoy them. For now, consider this a helpful tool.
Yes, these sauces and dips contain sugar and other additives. But I’d rather cut back on sugar elsewhere (less sugary drinks, etc.) and keep these condiments on the table. If you’re worried that your child will eat just a spoonful of ketchup (oh, we’ve been there), pour a small amount onto a plate or small bowl.
Don’t worry that added sugar, sodium, or fat will make foods like vegetables taste bland. Sprinkling salt on boiled broccoli makes it even more delicious. Sauteed carrots are transformed with a little butter and brown sugar. And asparagus might taste better if you soak it in ketchup, as my kids used to do.
See more: Defending Ranch Dressing
#4.Dessert
It’s okay to serve dessert regularly. But dessert should not be a reward for eating dinner, nor should it depend on how many bites of vegetables your child eats.
Here’s why: If eating dessert is associated with eating other foods, especially vegetables, children may start to think of the food as something terrible that they must overcome to get something better. I don’t know. Breaking that connection serves to strip the dessert of its power as a negotiation tool. No more “two bites of broccoli and you’ll have dessert” bribe.
Nutritionist Erin Sutter, author of Child Of Mine: Feeding With Love and Good Sense, actually suggests serving dessert in small portions at dinner. She says that once a dessert is taken off its pedestal, it simply becomes part of the meal.
And even if you finish the cookie the first time, you can move on to other foods and eat until you’re full. They don’t rush through dinner to get to dessert.
Details: Dessert will be served with dinner. Sounds crazy, but it works!
#5.Hot mess
What would happen if we didn’t have the perfect family dinner, with everyone smiling, good table manners, and refilling Brussels sprouts? Just a normal family!
Dinner time can be loud, messy, and let’s be honest, not always fun, especially when kids are small.
Mess at dinner is okay. It is important to maintain the habit of eating together as a family (when possible). Even if that means sometimes having dinner in the car or outside.
And it gets easier!
See more: The truth about family dinners
