“The solution to any problem should be found at a level that goes slightly or significantly beyond conflicting perceptions. As long as you face the difficulty, you will end up fighting the problem rather than solving it.” ” ~Glenda Green.
Many years ago, my city was in the middle of a heat wave. My house didn’t have air conditioning. It was so hot inside that I was glued to my office chair. Well past 11pm, I was still sweating at my computer.
Then the lamp in the office overheated and went out. Sudden darkness. Did I get up and rest and do something else? no.
Did they move to a cooler part of the house? no. I wasn’t paying attention.
Then it got even worse.
Several pages of a website I created suddenly disappeared into cyberspace. Hmm! I was in the middle of a promotion that was driving people to those very sites.
My level of frustration rose rapidly, almost reaching panic levels, which of course led to another disaster almost immediately. I was locked out of my house.
This time, the situation became serious.
I went into the garage to run an errand and quickly discovered that the door back to the house was closed and locked behind me. The spare key I had hidden was nowhere to be found.
Luckily, one of the back windows was open, so I managed to get into the house by cheerfully climbing out the kitchen window like a Cirque du Soleil performance gone wrong. That was exactly what brought me back to my senses.
Rarely do people think, “Wow, this is amazing” when presented with something that looks like a problem. What kind of chance is this? ”
Albert Einstein once said that you cannot solve problems at the same level of mind that created them. Therefore, it is helpful to zoom out and consider the problem from a higher and wider perspective. Doing so will reveal hidden opportunities.
When we take a step back, we often realize that not-so-surprising events were not happening to us, but because of us.
Among my three-pronged problems: heatwaves, website crashes, and being locked out of my home, I’d say “always know where your spare keys are” and “when it’s hot in the office, go somewhere else.” There was an obvious lesson: “Go where you want to go.” But the bigger opportunity was to remind us:
There are very few things in life that make you panic. In fact, it’s rarely as bad as we think it is.
So what happens when web pages disappear? They can be recreated. It’s tough when it’s hot in your house and you don’t have an air conditioner. At least I have a home.
Someone once said, “Life is determined primarily by paying attention.” If we had paid enough attention to the first two events, the rising temperatures and the death of web pages, and stopped and thought about what the message was, perhaps the trip through Rear Window could have been avoided.
The truth is, opportunities are always around us. But we have to look for them.
For example, if you sleep with your alarm going off, you’ll be late for appointments and feel sick for the rest of the day. But maybe arriving late to an appointment is a kind gesture from the universe to re-evaluate my expectations of how much I can realistically get done in a day. Perhaps sleeping through an alarm means you could have avoided a car accident during normal driving hours.
Inside every problem lies an opportunity, even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time.
I recently hit a nail in my car and found out that I needed to replace not just one but all four tires on my car. This was another opportunity to observe my default mode when something unfortunate happens. It is a natural tendency to react. “How did this happen?” “What should I do now?” “This is terrible. I can’t believe it.”
For many of us (myself included), the automatic response to setbacks is fear, worry, and frustration. It’s important to recognize and validate these perfectly normal emotions and accept that they’re there, but these automatic reactions do little to help you find solutions and solve problems. .
We can train ourselves to deal with each perceived problem by asking the question, “How is this a good thing?”
After those initial moments of frustration at the price of four new tires and sticker shock, I actively looked for a silver lining. I was planning on going on a long road trip in a few weeks anyway, so it made sense to get the car in tip-top condition now.
By replacing all four tires, I discovered a more serious problem with my car. It’s a problem that I didn’t realize until I got over that small peg.
When faced with what appears to be a problem, the mind is tempted to jump in and play out endless doomsday and what-if scenarios. One way to break this tendency is to give your mind a funny name.
For example, imagine your mind as an annoying neighbor who loves to complain. The next time you start rattling off about how bad things are, you can tell that mind, “Thanks for sharing, Buzzard.” By seeing your mind as separate from yourself, you can recognize its concerns and at the same time interrupt its negative patterns.
Another way to free yourself from a negative mental spiral is to pick up a piece of paper and write down how that unpleasant event or situation is good.
Start by sitting quietly, taking slow deep breaths, and calming your mental buzzard. Once you’re back in a more neutral, centered space, look for hidden opportunities. Write down one or two positive things that could happen.
It’s important to write things down instead of just thinking about them or typing them into your phone or computer because physically writing something interferes with your mental conditioning and habits. Writing with your non-dominant hand is even more effective, as it activates parts of your brain that aren’t used often. This is a great way to gain creative insight into a perceived problem.
Our daily activities provide countless opportunities to notice how we react and practice looking for hidden opportunities. In fact, a few hours after I started writing this article, my computer suddenly stopped working. It was an opportunity to practice exactly what I write about: awareness and opportunity.
I realized that even if I couldn’t recover all my files, my mind still desperately wanted to imagine various worst-case scenarios. As I ignored those thoughts and looked for opportunities, I decided that I was about to be forced into a much-needed timeout from my computer. I suddenly had a lot of time to spend on other activities that I had put aside because my computer work seemed more important and urgent.
If you’re having a problem in your life right now, take a step back, pick up a piece of paper, and think about it through a broader, brighter lens. Get creative and brainstorm until you find at least two ways the situation could actually be a good thing. Look for opportunities!
About Karin Kaiser
Karin Kiser is the author of ten books, including Unplug Your Robot: The Secret to Lasting Happiness and the international bestseller Lighten Your Load. She teaches people how to reduce the physical, mental, and emotional toxins that block their path, bringing greater health and happiness to people around the world. Download her free report, “5 Hidden Reasons for Almost Everything Going Wrong in Your Life…and What to Do About Them” from her website: https://KarinKiser.com.
