One morning, as I was taking a walk, I felt like time was passing so fast and I had nothing to show for it.
Now that we’re halfway through this year, I realize I should have done more.
But given that my almost 8-year relationship ended in January and my entire life has been in a state of flux since then, why do I worry about what I’ve accomplished or haven’t accomplished? Is it?
Everything has changed and will continue to change. Still, I feel pressure to accomplish something. The days, weeks, and months could have been filled with more “meaningful” things.
In reality, there was a lot of crying, journaling, watching YouTube videos, reading books, and going for walks.
I started therapy to process my emotions and hopefully deal with the things I had been avoiding all this time.
I also set small goals and work towards them every day.
All the while, I’ve been reminiscing about the past eight years and trying to figure out where everything went wrong.
Yet, there is always pressure inside me to do more.
Pressure to do more
Guess what I had to do? Should I travel the world? Are you currently looking for a place to live instead of living with your parents? Are you looking for new friendships? Do you want to reinvent yourself?
I have written many times about the importance of doing nothing, but I still feel every day that I am wasting my precious time and that there is a better way to live. .
I think to myself, “If I had been more adventurous, ambitious, and confident, I could have lived a completely different life.”
But why do I feel this way? Is it social pressure, comparison with others, or just part of my personality? Why do I feel like there’s another version of life I should be living?
fantastic future
As I was pondering these thoughts, I came across this video on the topic of “lack of follow-through.”
Heidi shares how many of us feel like we’re not making progress in life because we’re caught up in fanciful thoughts about the future.
We imagine future versions of our lives to be much better than our current versions.
The problem is that we use those future fantasies to escape our current reality.
After all, it’s more fun to daydream about the future than to face the discomfort of the present moment. In a fantasy world, there are no problems to deal with and no stress in life.
But if your dreams for the future are very different from reality, it can feel incredibly overwhelming to think about how to make it happen, and it can feel like nothing is happening.
Even though you don’t really want to be where you are, you end up staying where you are. It’s a never-ending cycle.
To move from your current reality to your imagined future, you must first accept where you are.
Even when times are difficult, we need to be willing to be present in the moment instead of avoiding it.
I now realize that instead of accepting my situation for who I am, I have been comparing myself to a fantasy version of who I could be, rather than who I am.
My fear of wasted potential comes from not trying to approach life from where I am.
return to yourself
If you look carefully at your situation, you will see that you have overcome many difficult emotions.
I have been in a season of reorientation and am slowly but surely coming back to my sense of self.
In a results-oriented society, it’s hard to feel accomplished if you don’t have anything tangible to show for the work you’ve put in to yourself.
Efforts to recognize behavioral patterns in your life and understand why they appear will not give you any certificates.
You cannot smartly target your path to healing.
But even if you don’t win any awards despite your human challenges, it doesn’t mean it’s all for nothing.
The path to acceptance of ourselves and the present moment is worth walking.
Start where you are
When you’re exhausted by the pressure to achieve more, focus on accepting the current version of your life and bounce back from there.
Work with what you have now, not what you wish you had or what you wish you had.
Even if it means taking some baggage with you, be present with yourself where you are.
In the end, the challenge is not to do more than this, but to fully accept the present moment as it is.
