The holidays are supposed to be a joyous time of year, but for those grieving the loss of a loved one, it can be an incredibly difficult and painful time. Memories of past celebrations, empty chairs at the dinner table, and countless holiday traditions that now feel empty can all cause strong feelings of sadness, loneliness, and sadness.
But you can find ways to honor the memory of your loved one and experience moments of peace and even joy during the holidays while making room for grief. Here are 10 tips to help you cope with loss during the holiday season.
accept your feelings
Let yourself feel it. Grief comes in waves, and holidays can trigger strong emotions. One moment you may feel sad, the next you may feel angry, or even joy mixed with guilt.
Don’t ignore or push down your feelings. Instead, be kind to yourself and allow yourself to experience them. Allow yourself to feel whatever happens, as suppressing your emotions can increase stress and make grieving more difficult. Writing in a journal, talking with a trusted friend, or just crying can all be helpful outlets.
limit social obligations
Holidays are often filled with parties, gatherings, and other social events. While it’s important to stay connected, there’s no obligation to attend every event.
Consider which traditions and gatherings you feel comfortable participating in. It’s okay to say “no” to overwhelming invitations. Instead, prioritize small gatherings or choose to spend some quiet time at home if you feel more comfortable doing so. Don’t feel guilty about letting close friends and family know your plans and choosing what’s best for you.
Find a way to remember your loved one
Finding ways to honor your loved one can provide comfort as you go through the grieving process. for example:
Every night, we light a memory candle. Place special decorations on the tree. Set aside a small space in your home to display photos and memorabilia.
Many people find comfort in giving back. Donating to a charity, volunteering, or making a gift in a loved one’s name can be a beautiful way to keep their memory alive. Consider supporting causes that are meaningful to them. Doing so can bring a sense of connection and purpose to the holiday season.
avoid triggers
Holiday traditions, music, and decorations can sometimes serve as reminders of a loved one’s absence and amplify grief. So if these triggers become overwhelming, limit your exposure to them. For example, you might skip certain gatherings, avoid certain holiday songs, or decorate differently this year. Just don’t feel guilty when something like this happens.
Manage financial stressors
One of the unexpected stressors that often arises after the death of a loved one is the financial burden of end-of-life arrangements. A funeral can cost anywhere from $5,000 to $25,000, adding additional pressure on top of the emotional loss.
If you’re managing your loved one’s end-of-life tasks, consider doing it piecemeal or delegating it to someone you trust. Better yet, get it done well before the holiday season begins. This approach helps reduce financial stress and allows you to focus on healing knowing these details are under control.
Rely on supportive friends and family
Support from friends and family can make a huge difference in the healing process. Lean on someone who understands your loss and can offer comfort without judgment. Surround yourself with loved ones who encourage you to talk about your feelings and share memories of the person you’ve lost. Sometimes just having a friend by your side can make tough moments more bearable.
Prioritize self-care
Self-care is essential during times of grief, especially during the holidays, when added stressors can exacerbate the feeling of loss. Make time for relaxing activities, such as a walk in the park, reading a book, taking a warm bath, and getting plenty of rest.
Taking care of your physical health also has a positive impact on your mental health. These moments of self-love keep stress levels low, reduce depression and anxiety, and leave you feeling happier.
whether to preserve tradition or not
If a particular holiday tradition brings you comfort, consider keeping it. However, it’s equally acceptable to let go or change traditions that feel too painful this year. Try something new, like volunteering or spending a day in nature. Whatever you choose, prioritize what feels right and what will best help you cope with your grief.
practice being grateful for what you have
This season allows us to focus on what we’ve lost, but it’s also a time to be grateful for what we have. This doesn’t mean ignoring your pain, but it does mean shifting your focus from time to time to things and people that bring you joy and comfort.
Practicing gratitude brings emotional balance and peace. It helps you take care of what matters most, increases your sense of well-being, and may promote cardiovascular health.
consider professional help
A qualified mental health professional can provide techniques to help you process your emotions and develop healthy coping strategies. Many people find counseling and therapy helpful because they provide a safe space to openly discuss their grief.
Let’s look forward to it with gentle hope.
As you spend the holiday season, give yourself space to look forward to small moments of joy. Healing from loss does not mean forgetting your loved one. It’s about giving yourself permission to experience the present and find moments of happiness in a way that honors your journey.
While a post-bereavement holiday may never feel quite the same, you can still create a meaningful and tender experience that honors both your own grief and the memory of your loved one. Remember, it’s okay to embrace traditions or start new ones to create space for healing in your own way.
