I’ve been in a deep hole for the past few years.
When we find something that intrigues us, we want to learn everything we can about it.
I discovered astrology, Human Design, the David Kibbe style system, color analysis, Ikigai, and more, all leading to a deeper understanding of myself and my personal preferences.
I had some “aha” moments when I realized that my astrological placement explains why I love writing, or that in the Kibbe style system, I’m a soft classic and therefore don’t look good in trendy oversized clothes.
These systems and labels are useful because they validate and confirm what we already know about ourselves: they help give names to confusing concepts and provide parameters that reduce analysis paralysis.
But there is one problem.
My interest in these systems and personality tests started out as curiosity but quickly turned into an obsession to get everything “right.” It’s easy for interest to turn into an obsession (thanks to Reddit, I know I’m not the only one).
So, are these systems actually helpful if they cause us to become overly focused on making the “best” or “right” decision?
Today I want to share what I’ve learned from these systems, how to find meaning through them, and why we love to label ourselves.
The rise of boxes and labels
To help you understand what I am referring to, let me first talk about the different systems and labels.
Warning: after reading this, you may find yourself falling into a hole of confusion.
Kibe body type
Introduced in the 1980s, David Kibbe’s style system is based on 13 image identities. These identities have nothing to do with typical fruit shapes (apple, pear, etc.) but rather describe visual balance, angular or rounded, tall or short, etc.
The key is to dress in a way that flatters your natural features. If you’ve always struggled to pull off trendy clothes and you’re not sure why, the Kibbe body type might give you some clues.
You can use online quizzes to find out what type you are, but only David Kibbe himself can give you an accurate classification. Because of this exclusivity, people feel they have no choice but to determine their type, and there are subreddits dedicated to helping people determine their type.
It’s a lot of fun when you first start, but it can quickly get frustrating when you don’t fit neatly into one category or get bogged down trying to follow guidelines.
Color Analysis
Color analysis (aka finding your best color) is another system that has been revived since the 80s. Are you a winter, summer, spring or fall person? Are you a warm or cool person? Light or muted? Light or dark?
They say that knowing what colors suit you will help your outfit look harmonious, and you won’t need to wear as much makeup because the colors will do the work for you (the fact that this is primarily aimed at improving women’s appearances is a topic for another day).
The problem is, while these seasons fall neatly into the hands of some people, they don’t. I’m ashamed to say that I’ve dumped money on five different virtual color analysts, and they all said my seasons are different.
“Just wear whatever color you like!” I know you’re thinking, but unfortunately, after learning about color analysis, my brain doesn’t seem to let me. I’m a perfectionist, and I want my clothes to match.
astrology
Astrology is a system that helps us understand ourselves and others through the movement of the planets. Whether it’s a generational thing or just the bubble I’m in, astrology doesn’t seem to be as taboo as it once was.
Astrology can help you gain a deeper understanding of who you are as a person and interpret your current stage in life. You may know you’re a Leo, but do you know where the Moon was when you were born and how it influences your emotional needs? Or where Mars is currently and how it affects your motivation levels?
Due to the potential of astrology to interpret future events, there is a saying that “millionaires don’t have astrologers, but billionaires do.”
Astrology can be useful if you know how to use it, but if used incorrectly it can create negative stereotypes and generalizations.
Human Design
Another system related to astrology is “Human Design,” which helps us understand how to live our daily lives with ease.
Depending on your type, you can determine whether the best way to use your energy is to be the initiator of new ideas (Manifestor), be a hard worker and get things done (Generator), follow your many interests (Manifesting Generator), be a guide for others (Projector), or simply observe the world and reflect what you learn (Reflector).
This book really opened my eyes to the idea that in modern society we are taught that everyone needs to be an initiator and a hard worker, but many people are not wired to use their energy in that way (perhaps this is one of the reasons why burnout and chronic fatigue are so prevalent today).
Why do we put ourselves in boxes?
Maybe you’ve fallen into a deep hole like me, or maybe these systems have never piqued your interest.
Either way, we as humans have a tendency to put others in boxes, even when we say they aren’t.
The question I ask myself is, “What am I really trying to understand about myself through these systems?”
To me, attractiveness is a set of parameters that have the potential to make life easier.
If you know that you’re a Kibbeh body type, that you belong to a certain body type, and that your color season is True Autumn, you might be less likely to waste money on clothes that don’t suit you.
Finding out you’re an INFJ on the Myers-Briggs personality type indicator can help you feel better about your need for alone time.
Maybe all of this is to say that I’m a perfectionist and I want a set of rules to follow because I think it will make life easier.
But is looking to an external system as a guidebook for your company the right approach?
In Oliver Birkman’s newsletter, “Systems vs. Life,” he writes:
Many of us long to find a system, a set of rules, a philosophy of life that will live our life for us so that we don’t have to face the hassles and discomforts that would arise moment to moment if we pledged our allegiance to a rulebook.
If we really dig deep, we want these systems to give us confidence in ourselves when we feel unworthy.
Chances are, if you followed the rules and guidelines perfectly, you wouldn’t suffer from any self-conscious discomfort.
But life doesn’t work that way.
When we rely too heavily on external rules, we lose sight of our own preferences in our pursuit of what is right and perfect.
The quest for self-understanding should not become a pursuit of perfection.
Are these systems pointless?
So if we can’t rely on these frameworks and systems to define ourselves, does that mean they’re completely meaningless?
I don’t think so: after all, they help us understand the world and find meaning in an abstract way.
It’s natural to search for meaning in life because no one wants to waste their time and energy, but searching for the perfect system and trying to follow it religiously may end up wasting your time and energy.
One of the joys of life is seeing what happens when you don’t push yourself, don’t look for the answers, don’t try to be perfect. All you have to do is BE. Either way, you are you.
After all, relying on any system other than your own inner knowing will only move you further from what you want and need.
Embrace diversity
Identifying your personality traits or finding the perfect color for you won’t necessarily change your life or give you the confidence you’re looking for.
There’s nothing wrong with using these systems and labels, just approach them from a place of curiosity rather than perfection, and if they’re no longer fun, it may be time to stop.
If you really want to feel confident, accept that you can do more than one thing at a time. Accept that you can’t define it. Instead, create guidelines for your life.
I am writing this as a message to you and to myself, these are the words I need to hear to stop me getting too bogged down in the details.
