An invitation to this practice is to put aside ideas and concepts about differences, shame, fear, survival and rest, simply checking whether a common sense of human felt can be developed. What you’re tapping here is the recognition that we all want happiness and freedom from suffering, and that this is also part of our common humanity.
Practice “like me” to broaden your circle of compassion
This meditation is inspired by the writing and teachings of his book Thupten Jinpa, “Fearless Heart: Compassionate Courage Can Change Our Life.”
Take your time and settle in your body for a few minutes and be careful. Be careful of anything that is present in the way of the sensations inside your body. You may notice a sense of touch in the clothing, the pressure on the supporting surfaces of certain parts of the body, or a sense of coolness or warmth, relaxation or tension, ease or discomfort. Pay attention to where and how you are at this moment. You may also find yourself inhaling or out, realizing that your breath has been moving on its own since you last attended. Imagine the person you value, the person who brings a smile on your face when you think of them, the person who has a relatively easy and complicated relationship. This could be a family like a child, grandparents, or even a pet. Go beyond this idea of being and see if you can actually feel what you feel in your existence. How easy it is to pay attention to the pleasant feelings that may arise when you hold this loved thing in your consciousness, and to acknowledge that they also want the true happiness you have. Please take a look. Now, I’m calling to remind someone else, someone you recognize but doesn’t feel special intimacy with someone who doesn’t have that meaningful interaction. This may be someone on the street, behind the counter at your favorite coffee shop, or driving a bus that you regularly take. Notice what emotions arise about you when you imagine this person, and how these feelings differ from what you felt about the person you first imagined. Check if you can imagine what it’s like to be this person. Usually we don’t think much of the happiness of people who have a neutral role in our lives like this. Imagine their lives, their hopes and fears. It’s as realistic, complicated and challenging as you do. You can even recognize certain similarities between yourself and this other person at the level of your common humanity. “Like me, she wants to be happy and avoid even the slightest pain.” Then, take the time to remember someone you don’t know at all, and at first glance People who think they are very different from you. Perhaps the image comes to mind from the news, your imagination, or previous trips. Consider people who are probably facing difficulties that are very different from your own. Perhaps you may be reminded of someone who doesn’t look like you. . . Or someone with a completely different cultural background or living environment. You may find yourself thinking right now about people suffering from wars and people resisting tyranny everywhere in the world. Take your time to see if you can see past the differences in common with this person and these people. Imagine looking into their eyes, sitting with them in meditation and feeling a little bit of joy, pain, sadness and fear that they might experience. . . Simply because they are human like you. Recognizing that they are a subject of deep concern to someone, parent, spouse, child, or someone’s dear friend, you can put yourself in this person’s shoes for a moment. please confirm. Even this person, who seems very different, begins to acknowledge that there is a fundamental desire for happiness that you have. Take note of this awareness for a while (for example, 20-30 seconds). Other than observing in its presence and being kind to yourself, you don’t have any other agendas, and convey your thoughts and feelings as they do so as to exist in what you happen to them, so that you exist in what you happen to them. I will allow you to do that. Finally, see if you can gather these three people in one spiritual photo in front of you. They all share all the basic longings and take their time to reflect on the fact that they are happy and free from suffering. In this dimension, there is no difference between these three. In this basic aspect, they are exactly the same. Take time to the presence of these three in that respect, in terms of their shared desires of happiness and a kind of total flaw. Next, include yourself in this circle of consciousness and remind you of:
These people, like me, have feelings, thoughts, and emotions.
These people have experienced physical and emotional pain and suffering during their lives, just like me. These people, like me, are sad, disappointed, angry, or worried.
These people, like me, sometimes feel unworthy or inadequate. These people, like me, long for connection, purpose, and belonging.
These people, like me, want to be happy and free from pain and suffering. These people want to be loved like me. I quietly repeat this phrase with this deep understanding that the desire to be happy and overcome suffering is common to all. Whatever the hopes and emotions arising from this practice, take the time to sit and allow them to stand up and fall. Your only agenda is to notice and be aware of their occurrence.
Adapted from self-compassion for dummy by Stephen Hickman.
