Learn how to live life to the fullest with a mental illness

A famous Latin phrase that I love is “Carpe diem.” It means “seize the day.” Young people may be more familiar with the phrase “You only live once,” or YOLO. Both phrases encourage people to live their lives to the fullest.

I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety since childhood, so it’s been difficult for me to live up to these words and enjoy life. I have missed out on a lot of precious time with my loved ones.

But lately, my mental state has started to take a turn for the better, and I’m trying my best to make up for all the quality time I’ve missed.

I am an active Christian and my church recently had a meeting or social event. Usually, at social events, I’m a wallflower. I don’t really participate, preferring to sit on the sidelines and laugh. At this particular gathering, I often took the lead and danced a lot.

One of my church mates even said he didn’t know I danced like that. By the way, I can’t dance, but I think he was saying that he couldn’t imagine me dancing so freely. It felt great to be able to relax and have fun with my church friends.

My family was with me at the gathering, and if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t have attended. I almost never make decisions without family input because my anxiety gets in the way and I have a hard time believing in my own decisions. Obviously I can work harder with confidence, but for now I’m glad I had a good time at the gathering. But this wasn’t the only time I stepped outside of my comfort zone recently.

I started getting more involved in church and speaking up in Bible study groups. I don’t usually share my thoughts in group settings because I don’t like being the center of attention. But I’ve gotten used to the attention.

My church holds a weekly prayer meeting, and recently one of my church members asked me to host a prayer meeting over Zoom. I was nervous about taking this job, but I decided to take it.

After the meeting, everyone told me I had done a great job. Some people even told my family that the meeting went very well.

During the meeting, I gave a small presentation on the history of Mother’s Day. Members who saw the presentation were able to recall the details of the presentation and share it with other members who were not present. I was so happy because it meant she was actually listening and paying attention. It also means she enjoyed the meeting.

Two recent events, a social gathering and a prayer meeting, reminded me of how far I have come in my journey of dealing with depression and anxiety.

My family also noticed the change. As I said earlier, I missed out on bonding moments.

In a recent conversation with my family, I mentioned that a while ago my family went to see Superman: Man of Steel in the theater. When I said I wasn’t going that day, my family responded that they remembered me having a “moment” at that time.

Admittedly, at the time I was suffering from many symptoms of depression and wasolating myself. The loneliness only worsened my depression and also worsened my relationship with my family.

They couldn’t understand why I didn’t participate in group activities. Also, because I got angry easily, my family felt they had to be extra careful with me. They believed they were walking on eggshells when interacting with me.

A part of me believed that what I was experiencing was normal. Another part of me knew something was wrong, but I didn’t want to admit that I was dealing with depression. I didn’t want to deal with the stigma.

But as time went on, I started to get tired of dealing with depression. I wanted to be happy. I wanted a healthier relationship with my loved one. A healthier relationship with my family started with building a relationship with a therapist.

For a long time, I didn’t want to tell anyone about my depression because I was embarrassed. But my therapist helped me feel comfortable talking about my mental illness. Once I felt better, I started talking to my family about my mental health.

By opening up to my family, they understood me and created a stronger bond between us. My family may not fully understand me and my decisions, but they try to understand. That’s important because it helps me feel understood.

I thought my family was not interested in understanding me and thought I was a weirdo, so I thought about it for too long. My guess was wrong. My family not only understands me, but fully accepts me.

I had the same assumptions about my friends and church family, so I avoided getting involved in church. I almost went straight home after the service and skipped the fellowship and socializing. Just as I was wrong about my family, I was also wrong about my fellow church members. Since I started getting more involved in church, I have received nothing but support and praise.

The love and encouragement I have received has helped me change my mindset. Not everyone is criticizing me and some people are happy to have me in their lives. This will make it much easier to be yourself.

I may meet people who are mean and criticize me, but there are more people around me who support me. I’m learning that what others think of me often has nothing to do with my worth.

If you are like me and struggle with depression or anxiety, please know that you are not alone. Not only are there many people living with mental illness just like you, but there are also people around you who love you. And there’s a good chance these people will be happy to help you if you let them in.

Opening up and trusting others is not easy. But when love and happiness pour into your heart, you’ll be glad you took the risk and opened the door. Don’t let mental illness isolate you and prevent you from enjoying life. Carpe diem, my friends. carpe diem.