Written by Leo Babauta
Last year I turned 50…and I’ve been thinking more about aging than ever before. Admittedly, 50 is still quite young, but there was something about this number that made me realize that my 60s and 70s weren’t that far away, and that was a bit confronting for me.
After all, I’ve spent most of my life thinking that getting older is scary. This is a deeply ingrained cultural assumption in our society, the belief that getting older means being weak, feeble, powerless, and worthless. We know it’s not actually true, but we’re constantly fed cultural messages that it is.
So when I turned 50, I sat with this for a while. What does getting older mean to me? what is my fear? what is my bias? How do I want to spend my retirement?
As a practice, begin to become aware of your own biases about aging and aging, and become more aware of how the people around you (and the media you consume) talk about aging as if it’s a bad thing. Recommended. The word “old” is used as an insult. When I say I’m old, people say, “Oh, I’m not old yet,” as if to insult me. Or, “It’s okay, you don’t look old.” Or, “You look young for your age!” These are meant to reassure us, because we think getting older is a bad thing. .
It’s all around us. And if everyone and everything we meet treats growing old and growing old like it’s a bad thing, we naturally become afraid of it. This is similar to old cultural messages about being overweight, gay, or mentally ill. All this turns into an insult. That means if we fall into any of these categories, we should be ashamed.
Let’s rebel against it all! Recover old age, regain old age. If we can change these messages, at least to ourselves, fear and shame will lose their power over us.
So here are some things I’ve done over the past 18 months to change my relationship with aging.
I started to realize my own biases about aging and old age. And I started noticing it when other people talked about aging and old age. I began to lovingly point out this hidden azism to others. And changed my word about it all. I look at people who are empowered into old age: athletes, Nobel laureates, great artists, people who are pillars of their communities, monks and sages, gardeners and home builders. It has become. I started looking at them as my models. I started envisioning what I wanted to be when I retired. Empowered, caring, creative, adventurous, learning and expanding. Kind, gentle, and curious. I began to sit with the fear of being powerless. This is the beast hidden at the root of our fear of aging. None of us wants to feel helpless, yet we all end up feeling helpless. So I tried to find places where I already felt powerless and bring compassion to myself every time I felt that way. I consider all the challenges that will come my way in my later years – physical, mental, emotional, relationship, career, spiritual – as an edge to practice for that very moment. As with all challenges before me, each time I face these challenges, I only grow in strength and wisdom.
With this, I now feel that I really like getting older.
Living this new chapter of my life has been magical. I feel more patient, more compassionate, and more connected to others than ever before. And I look forward to the adventures that await me as my body, mind, and spirit continue to evolve.
I hope you all love me along the way.
