How you interact with the world affects how the world treats you. Developing a strong sense of self and being content with who you are gives you the strength to withstand outside influences and face life on your terms. What factors affect confidence and how can I increase it?
Some aspects are always outside of your control, but you can change your life by taking charge of the things that are within your control. Here are the factors that affect confidence and how you can rebuild it no matter the situation.
What factors influence self-confidence?
Multiple external factors influence self-confidence. It may seem like there is nothing you can do about the situation, but if you fall prey to a victim mindset, you will be unable to improve. Blame others or not take responsibility for one’s actions can hold you back.
Your challenge is to find ways to improve how you feel about yourself by honoring and validating your lived experiences and championing your strengths. Although much of this process is internal, it often results in noticeable and significant changes in the situation.
1. Your background
According to psychologist Tim Fletcher, all humans have 12 basic needs, including love and security. at these times unmet needs during childhoodcomplex trauma can occur, which affects your worldview and self-confidence.
For example, someone who was given little sympathy, encouragement, or forgiveness as a child may react with suspicion when others display these qualities. The problem is made worse if they are not taught to regulate their emotions or allowed to create healthy boundaries. They may unfairly accuse others of trying to take advantage of them, or act in ways that drive away others who might improve their lives.
It’s not easy to take an honest look at your upbringing. However, recognizing that your childhood wasn’t perfect doesn’t have to mean blaming your parents or cutting off contact. It’s your responsibility as an adult to examine the verbal and unspoken lessons you learned in your youth and let go of beliefs that don’t serve you. By examining and strengthening your belief system, you can develop healthier, lasting relationships with your family and other people in your life.
2. Your financial situation
Unfortunately, in a society where many people measure their worth by their income, financial status can affect confidence. It’s easy to say that loving your job is more important than the paycheck until you get over the embarrassment of sleeping in your car because you can’t pay the rent.
Sadly, people who lack self-confidence are more likely to fall prey to scams. They’re also more likely to listen to someone whose advice is motivated by their own desire for a paycheck, rather than malicious intent. For example, going back to school may give you a head start on a new career. Or you may find yourself buried under large student loans, even though the pay is relatively low in return. Find out what the registered counselor claims before you sign the loan documents.
Conversely, confidence may be similar to walking into a company and talking to the owner about a job opportunity or discussing the need for a promotion with your boss. If the job you want requires a degree, ask for tuition assistance or reimbursement instead of taking the job. The worst thing they say is “no.” Now you know where you stand. Having the courage to ask questions will build your confidence and help you move forward with less anxiety.
3. Physical ability and health status
Physical health can affect your ability to work, and a lack of pay can undermine your self-confidence. However, feeling anxious about your health can subtly affect your self-confidence in less obvious ways. For example, if you fail, Correct myopia with glasses You can be left unsure of how others perceive you. Was that person across the room smiling and waving at you, or was it someone else?
Unfortunately, depending on the country you live in, getting medical care isn’t always easy. Fortunately, information on how to better care for yourself and improve your overall health, including alleviating many chronic conditions, is often free and easily available. For example, learn how to improve your daily diet Addressing a suspected food allergy can be enough to change some people’s minds, and guidance can be found online and at libraries.
Exercise isn’t just for controlling your weight. It’s also a learning experience to celebrate your body Instead of being ashamed of it. It’s a time to gently challenge your limits and relieve daily stress.
Engaging in other stress-relieving activities, such as deep breathing and getting enough sleep, can also improve your overall health.
4. Your trauma history
Therapist and author Gabor Mate explains that it’s less traumatic. what happens to you But what is going on inside you? It’s not just car accidents, assaults, and narcissistic abuse that cause unwanted symptoms and shake your self-confidence, but also how you process the event and the support you receive afterwards, or the lack of it at all. Affects.
Unfortunately, just as it is an adult’s responsibility to come to terms with one’s upbringing, it is also an adult’s responsibility to deal with trauma. Failure to do so may infect others, especially children. It’s hard and unfair to be left alone to deal with the aftermath of trauma, but use this method and give yourself the same TLC (tender loving care) that a professional therapist would give. By doing so, you can heal yourself.
Please verify your experience: It happened. It was the worst. But you got through it. Admit how hard it was to overcome what you did. Don’t downplay or downplay that struggle. Congratulate yourself for doing the best you can with the knowledge you had at the time.
Please educate yourself: Read the stories of others who have survived similar traumatic events. Go online and Research different treatments CBT, DBT, etc. There are no laws that prohibit you from using these techniques on yourself independent of your therapist. Either way, you are often the best judge of which practices work best for you.
Learn about bottom-up and top-down interventions. Bottom-up interventions include practicing yoga or working in the garden to diffuse intense emotions until you can process them more intelligently. It involves using your body to calm down your physical response to emotional stress and allow you to think. Top-down strategies include journaling, CBT, and DBT. These use their brains to deal with problematic situations.
Treat yourself like a patient. How would you like your therapist to treat you? Show yourself at least that much loving kindness in order to gradually regain your confidence and gratitude.
Recovering from trauma isn’t easy, but it’s probably the best way to rebuild your shattered confidence after a confidence-shaking event. Also, keep in mind: There is no trauma in the Olympics. If the situation is enough to change the way you feel about yourself, then it deserves scorn. Forget the idea that you don’t deserve self-care just because other people are doing it much worse.
5. Ability to connect with others
Are you a trustworthy person, or do you automatically suspect the worst about other people’s motives and actions? Ideally, you’re somewhere in between, but your ability to connect with others It can affect your self-confidence.
People who have trouble trusting others are often very independent, which can backfire in two ways. One is that you develop a “my way or the highway” mentality that pushes people away, and your confidence decreases when people avoid you. Second, it can make a simple task unnecessarily difficult, causing you to throw up in despair. Such behavior when asking for help shatters your confidence in your own abilities and may leave you looking for an easy solution.
Fortunately, even if you lost trust in early childhood, you can improve your attachment style. self-reflection and Journaling is a powerful techniqueas well as attending therapy, especially with a counselor knowledgeable in attachment theory.
build confidence
On the surface, the factors that most affect confidence seem to be outside of our control. But there are always things you can do to build your confidence. It all starts with examining your experience and having compassion for yourself instead of blaming yourself.
Understanding the factors that influence confidence can pave the way to a brighter tomorrow. By recognizing and addressing your unique challenges, you can face the world every day with more peace of mind.
This is a collaborative post in support of the Peace In Peace Out initiative.
