“Holding onto uncertainty is how we learn to relax in the midst of chaos, and how we learn to remain calm when the ground beneath us suddenly disappears.” ~Pema Chodron
I was kicked out. Those words stared at me from the letter I held in my hand.
It was the summer of 2022, near the end of the coronavirus pandemic, and life was supposed to be returning to normal—or so my husband and I hoped.
I read the letter again. My chest tightened.
We always paid our rent on time. We never broke the terms of our rental agreement.
Our landlord was putting the property up for sale. After nearly 10 years, we have to pack up all our belongings and look for a new place to live.
There were 60 days. It felt like a gut punch.
Uncertainty washed over me. How has the housing market changed over the past decade? Can you find a place and move in within 60 days? Can I stay in the same area? How will moving affect our lives?
It felt like someone had suddenly cut the root of our stability.
As the pandemic nears an end, my husband and I recently started new jobs after nearly two years of unemployment. But rents across Southern California were rising rapidly. I was already worried about unstable finances. How much will our rent increase?
My husband and I have thoroughly enjoyed living in the Los Angeles and Orange County areas. We loved going to museums, eating at our favorite restaurants, and spending the day at Disneyland. Even during the pandemic, we took our dogs for walks in local parks and runs along the beach.
How much change can we expect? New places to shop. new neighbors. New commute.
My anxiety increased and I became afraid of the daunting task of researching listings for apartments and houses. If I could have measured my stress level, it would have been off the mark.
We quickly realized that we couldn’t afford to stay in the same area. And you have to scale down to a much smaller location.
Still, that meant a nearly 30 percent increase in rent.
Additionally, owning a 65-pound German Shepherd made travel even more difficult as few places allowed large dogs and many simply had breed restrictions. And I couldn’t go anywhere without her.
Constant worrying was making me feel stressed and irritated.
In the back of my mind, a ticking clock was counting down the days. The sound was getting louder every second. With less than 30 days left, we still hadn’t found a new place to live.
We both felt the pressure to uproot our lives.
Tension between my husband and I waxed and waned as we continued to clean out our closets and pack boxes. We agreed to recycle old televisions and other electronics, but disagreed about what to do with old clothes and books. Donate or pack? Differences of opinion led to frequent arguments and arguments.
As the days passed, one uneasy question remained.
Even though I wasn’t alone, I still felt adrift and isolated.
Looking for ways to cope with the sudden changes in my life, I tried listening to calming music, meditating, and taking more walks with my dog. But that didn’t calm the swirling anxiety.
I needed something more solid and turned to ancient wisdom about the elements: earth, water, fire, air, and spirits.
My first elemental touchpoint was Earth. With so much uncertainty swirling around us, we needed to hold onto something solid.
The earth reminds us of our roots, a solid part of our lives even as everything else changes. I began to focus on what was still stable: the support my husband and I gave each other, the routines we followed, and the simple grounded comfort of going outside and feeling the world at our feet.
As I held onto what was still solid, another element began to flow through me: water. Earth helped me feel grounded, but water taught me that my emotions needed room to move.
It was okay to grieve over what you had lost. I shared my feelings with my husband and discussed how we both felt about this sudden change. I acknowledged my feelings and gave myself the time and compassion to experience them.
Feeling balanced with earth and safe with water, I turned to the next element: fire. In its steady glow, the fire reminded me of the strength that still burns within me.
My energy was drained by fear and anxiety. As I looked inward to my own spark, I discovered a quiet inner strength and courage that kept me going. I focused on small actions like searching for products, making phone calls, and packing one more box. Each step was a reminder that even in uncertain times, the sacred flame of resilience still burns brightly.
Even more confidently, another element appeared: air. As the fog of worry and concern began to lift, the air provided space for clarity and inspiration.
Rather than getting bogged down in “what ifs,” we took time to stop, take a deep breath, and calmly look at our situation. By letting go of the burden of worrying about every decision, I was able to think more clearly. It helped me focus on what really mattered and trust that I would find a way forward, one step at a time.
Through the first four elements, I regained a sense of stability, self-compassion, inner strength, and mental clarity.
The fifth element, Spirit, gave me a sense of quiet connection and harmony. Spirit reminded me that I was part of something bigger than the immediate challenges I was facing. Amidst the uncertainty, I have come to believe that this change, however unwelcome, is not without purpose. Although I couldn’t control every outcome, I could lean into my strengths, my resilience, and the quiet faith that we would end up where we were meant to be.
Looking back, I found more than just a new place to live. I found new ways to steady myself when life felt uncertain.
When everything else felt unstable, the elements became a silent guide.
The Earth reminded me to return to what anchors my life. The water helped me flow with the emotions instead of fighting them. The fire rekindled the courage to take the next step. The air gave me the clarity I needed to make decisions with a calmer mind. Spirit has helped me believe that even difficult changes have meaning and that responding to them will help us grow.
In life, there will always be moments that shake our sense of stability: loss, unexpected change, seasons of anxiety. At such times, you may feel uprooted and don’t know where to turn. However, the same elements that exist in nature exist within you. By reconnecting with them, you can rediscover stability, flexibility, resilience, clarity, and a deeper sense of trust in your life’s path.
About Dava Harvey
Dava Harvey is a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach. She is passionate about helping others reconnect with their wholeness and rise to their limitless potential. Through a mindful, whole-health approach, she blends empowerment, alignment, and soul healing to create space for true balance, deeper awareness, and meaningful change. For more information, please visit infinityhwc.com.
