“Feeling gratitude but not expressing it is like not wrapping and giving a present.” – William Arthur Ward
The holiday season generally brings people closer together. Sometimes that intimacy reminds us of how much we love each other. Sometimes it reminds us that we are driving each other crazy, as families often do.
Thanksgiving in particular is at its heart, asking us to have a deep sense of gratitude for the gifts people have given us. Some gifts are more immediately obvious than those that involve admiration, affection, and sincere respect.
Others push us away, make us stretch, test, and wonder if there is anything to be grateful for.
There’s no denying that certain relationships are more difficult than others, but through each relationship we have the opportunity to grow and help others do the same. Every relationship teaches us something about loving, trusting, forgiving, setting boundaries, valuing ourselves, and valuing each other.
From those who love you to those who challenge you to those who support you at work, here’s how to show your gratitude.
show gratitude to those who love you
1. Share a specific example of something they did for you and how it made a difference in your life.
2. Do something small but thoughtful, like cleaning up after Thanksgiving dinner.
3. Give a long, intimate hug. Or, if you know that the other person doesn’t like hugs, extend your hand for a handshake and make them smile, depending on their preference.
4. If they need to talk about something, let them know you’ll be right there and let them know you’re giving them your full attention.
5. Give them something of yours that you think they’ll appreciate, and be specific about why you want them to have it.
6. Invite them to do something you know they’ve always wanted to do.
7. Encourage them to try something they’ve always wanted to try but are too scared to do.
8. Offer to do something you know your child doesn’t enjoy, like organizing the closet or mowing the lawn.
9. Compliment someone about a talent, skill, or strength that you admire.
10. Look them straight in the eye and say, “You make the world a better place.”
Show gratitude to those who challenge you
11. Listen carefully to what the other person has to say, rather than waiting to formulate a counterargument in your head and then speak.
12. Thank people who have introduced you to new ways of looking at things, even if you still don’t agree with them.
13. Point out exactly what you admire about their commitment to their beliefs, even if you don’t hold them strongly.
14. Resist the urge to tell them they’re wrong.
15. Immediately challenge them to be their best with love and positive intentions.
16. If someone inspired you to step outside your comfort zone, thank them for inspiring you to take a risk and tell them how it paid off.
17. Write a blog post about how they helped you see things differently and dedicate it to them.
18. Take advantage of the lessons this person can teach you through your interactions, such as patience, compassion, and courage.
19. Introduce them to people who will challenge them and help them grow, just like they did to you.
20. When they challenge you in a loving, non-confrontational way, let them know how much you appreciate it. And if they don’t do it, be calm and kind when asking them to do it in the future.
Show gratitude to those who serve you
21. Tip more than you normally would.
22. If you have a tip box, include some change or bills along with a thoughtful note of appreciation.
23. Smile when ordering or asking for help. A smile is contagious, so give it the gift.
24. If they serve you regularly, acknowledge what they always do well, such as working efficiently or staying calm under pressure. .
25. Show patience, even if you are in a hurry.
26. Let your boss know that they are doing a great job.
27. Keep your workplace clean. For example, at a coffee shop, you clean up after yourself at the sugar stand.
28. If you have someone working in or outside of your home, offer to buy them coffee.
29. If you have their contact information, send them a thank you email. Let them know you just wanted to say thank you, no need to respond.
30. Give them a compliment on Yelp or recommend them to someone you know.
Show gratitude to those who work with you
31. Write a handwritten thank you note to acknowledge what you value about the person and their work.
32. If possible, offer to lighten their workload in some way.
33. If you know they’ve been working hard but likely didn’t have a chance to get something, bring them lunch.
34. If you host a meeting, keep it short to show appreciation and respect people’s time.
35. Always ask about their life, not just their job. This doesn’t mean you need to pry into personal matters. It simply means being interested in who they are as a person.
36. Keep your voice calm and light in stressful situations.
37. Send flowers to brighten up their desk.
38. Let your boss know how they are doing a great job and contributing to the company.
39. Listen well enough to know if they are having a difficult day and recognize if they need space to figure things out on their own rather than advice or help.
40. Remember that small things can make a big difference.
show yourself gratitude
41. Make a list of things that have impressed you recently.
42. Treat yourself to something you enjoy, like a pedicure or a massage.
43. When someone compliments you, thank them and let them know you’re proud of their skill, talent, or accomplishment.
44. Praise yourself. Say it while looking in the mirror, write it in your journal, or write it on a sticky note and stick it on your refrigerator.
45. Give yourself time to enjoy the passions that keep you busy.
46. Take inventory of all the good things you have done for others and the world.
47. Write yourself a love letter. Seriously, start with “Dear Lori” (but include your name) and describe all the things you admire about yourself.
48. Let go of all conditions to be kind to yourself. This means being grateful even if you haven’t accomplished anything concrete.
49. Schedule a date with yourself. The afternoon or evening is your own time.
50. Share your beauty with those around you and know that they are lucky to have you in their life.
I’m lucky to have you in me. You make the world a better place!
**PS: Since writing this article, I have started a gratitude journal and coloring book. People seem to be having a lot of fun. If you are interested, you can find out more here.
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. After suffering from depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame, she created this site to recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. I launched it. She recently created the Breaking Down Barriers to Self-Care e-course to help people overcome their internal blocks to meet their own needs. By doing so, we help people feel their best, be their best, and live their best lives possible. If you’re ready to start growing instead of just surviving, learn more and get instant access here.
