Immediately after the US presidential election, most of my acquaintances were shocked. They seem to have made some emotional adjustments since then, and that’s a good thing.
This is undoubtedly partly related to the nature of the emotion itself. Emotions are created by how we interpret and think about the world. At first, all I could think about was the election, and my emotional response was heightened. But we quickly start and have to think about other things, from what we do at work to what we’re going to buy for dinner. When the thing that shocked us becomes focused on just one thing instead of the one thing we are focusing on, our emotions calm down. Or, in any case, to some extent it is. Big things are still big things. We can never ignore it for long, and we shouldn’t.
Therefore, we need other tools to help us deal with troubling emotions.
There are more good people than bad people
Many of you have asked for perspective to help you feel calmer. In another post here, I suggested that it would be helpful to realize that we are not alone in a sea of horrible people, although we may think so at first. Most of those who voted did not vote for Donald Trump, and many do not even support his policies. They were simply expressing their dissatisfaction with the current economy, many of which were for very good reasons. Many people were misinformed and did not know what exactly they were voting for. As it turns out, we never are. Elections are an expression of hope. Sometimes things go better than usual. Sometimes we are disappointed. They were probably overjoyed by the election results. I’m sure I’ll regret it, but I hope I don’t.
It is reassuring to think that many people were not supporters of authoritarianism, but rather voters with low information. Many of those who supported him don’t know what “authoritarianism” means (it was Republicans who pointed this out). And some of them think authoritarian leadership is no big deal (they’re just “getting free”), but They are difficult to eliminate and do not realize that while they exist they can inevitably cause untold harm.
So this was one strategy for calming an anxious mind. Remember that there are many good people around us, and some of them are not monsters, but simply misguided. True authoritarians exist in every society, but they are a minority, perhaps 30 percent of the U.S. population, or 70 percent.
Self-compassion for political feelings
As another strategy for calming emotions, I have encouraged people to practice compassion. First to ourselves and then to others.
We may be feeling sadness, panic, and fear. I encourage you to surround those feelings with a space of kindness and compassion and live from that space.
These troubling feelings are often located around the diaphragm and heart. They can be unpleasant and you want to avoid them. But that’s the worst thing we can do. we need to accept them. This has various meanings.
Remember that even though we are in pain and discomfort, we are not failures. Pain is a normal part of life. You simply feel these emotions like any other sensation. Breathe with discomfort. I tell myself. “It’s okay to feel this.” Let me feel this. ” We see them as communications from a part of us that needs our support.
You can do all these things. The more tools you have, the better. But the last point is that it is very important to consider them as communications from a part of us that needs our support.
nature of emotions
Emotions originate from relatively ancient parts of the brain. These serve as a communication in case a potentially harmful situation is detected. And it is very threatening to elect someone whose values conflict with our own and who seek to enact those values through policies that we consider harmful. These ancient systems therefore send signals within the body, alerting our entire system to a perceived threat.
The part of us that is on guard is just a part of us. There are parts that are scary, but there are also parts that are reassuring. The problem is that when we’re panicking, we don’t even realize that we have the ability to give ourselves this confidence.
look with kindness
You have to step back mentally to trigger it. We need to use our imagination to step into another time and place. Towards a safer space. So now, try to remember a time when you were looking at someone with love. (I remember what it was like to watch my children sleep when they were young. I can remember watching my children, lovers, partners, friends, pets. It doesn’t matter as long as you’re alive. Bask in the memories of love.)
While keeping this memory in mind, feel the qualities that appear in your vision. Feel what is happening in and around your eyes. Notice the qualities of softness, warmth, compassion, gentleness, and love. Then bring that same quality of attention within yourself, to any emotion, fear, anxiety, sadness, or whatever it may be.
Look at your painful feelings with loving eyes.
speak to yourself with compassion
Then speak to those feelings, or the old parts of your brain that produce them, with gentle, reassuring words. Say something like:
Are you okay. I’m here for you. I care about you and I want you to feel safe. I know this is difficult, but I will take care of you. We will get through this together.
With this combination of treating our pain with a loving eye and providing supportive messages, we are giving ourselves a lot of peace of mind. This helps calm our emotional responses and makes our emotions easier to manage.
But there’s more to it than that. Previously, painful emotions dominated our experience and seemed to be who we are (or, in the words of the Buddha, we could “union ourselves with them”). Our emotions are now just part of our experience.
Live from a space of compassion
Surrounding our emotions is a space of warmth, compassion, and tranquility. And we relate to our pain from that space. We feel safe within this compassionate space, offering support with empathy and warmth for our own painful emotions. This is much better! We can feel uncomfortable and yet feel comfortable.
But you can also go further. Not only can we relate compassionately to our own painful emotions, but we can also compassionately empathize with the pain of others. Realize that there are people in the world who are suffering just like us. And we can see them with empathetic, loving, supportive eyes. And we can think supportive thoughts.
And this helps alleviate our own suffering, because we are no longer narrowly focused on ourselves, but realize that we are all suffering together.
Incorporating compassion into our actions
But you can also go further than that. Feelings of compassion are empty if they do not lead to acts of compassion. So find something to do. Maybe it’s as simple as reaching out to some friends and letting them know they’re not alone. Perhaps it could be donating to one of the many organizations that will be in need if things get really bad. Perhaps they are participating in a wake or demonstration. Perhaps that means reading a book together, like On Tyranny by Timothy Snyder, and starting or joining a book discussion group.
Doing something gives us a sense of power and agency. It makes us stronger and less fearful.
In this way, having created a space of compassion around our pain, we can from that space inwardly support the suffering within ourselves and outwardly provide support to others. We live by providing services and strengthening the foundations of civil society. society.
